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Making sense of the world together
This is the secret of really good conversations.
Many of our best conversations, whether with people we have just met or with old friends, are about the world around us rather than ourselves. These are also often the conversations that bring us closer to each other.
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Experiencing shared reality
The theory of shared reality implies that we are most likely to feel closer to each other when we turn our mutual attention to something beyond ourselves.
So the responsibility of keeping the conversation going falls how on the way we engage in the world, cultivating our curiosity and priming our awareness. This means that whether we’re talking to a person we don't know, a partner or teammate, we’ll always have something to talk about.
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Creating routines
Too much is expected of modern relationships: your partner is supposed to fulfil roles that historically used to be spread out within communal structures. Your partner is supposed to be your be...
How to respond to the "invisible work"
During the pandemic, being at home with a partner reveals the "invisible work" they're doing, which may be taken for granted. This expanded view of ourselves and our partners can go in two directions.
- In one direction, you are curious and say, "I never knew. I really appreciate it. I realize how I let you do everything." It becomes a source of connection.
- It the other direction, it becomes a source of blame where you want to complain and tell your partner just how much you are doing. This way, you're not going to get help.
How people should fight
Couples go through harmony, disharmony, and repair. So they will inevitably get into arguments. However, what matters is how you fight. Don't highlight everything negative while taking the positive for granted.
Start by saying to yourself, "What are the one or two things that they have done that I can appreciate?" If you start with that, you will fight differently.
Stay focussed on the one thing that you're upset about at this moment. Don't end up talking about other things.
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Practice self-care as individuals
Thus, the first step to hav...
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The relationship is unique
Don’t compare your relationship to anyone else’s – not your parent’s, friend’s, coworker’s, or that random couple whose relationship seems perfect. Keep in mind that all relationships have their ups and downs.
Focus on what you two share, and make your unique bond the best it can be.
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Manage your feelings when in a relationship
Anger and frustration can result in great harm when expressed. When you experience these feelings towards your partner, try to calm down before starting a quarrel, which would only just injure your...
A balanced relationship is a happy relationship
As you most probably know, making sure there is balance at every level in your relationship will only strengthen your connection with your better half. Therefore, take all the necessary steps to ensure that whenever one of you has a bad day, the other one is there to cheer him or her up.
Efficient communication within a relationship
Whenever you feel like asking something to your partner, try saying it in a polite and affectionate way, avoiding reproaches while making sure that you set the direction of your relationship up for success.