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5 Self-Destructive Habits of Chronically Unhappy People

https://medium.com/personal-growth/5-self-destructive-habits-of-chronically-unhappy-people-a5309db45ac6

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5 Self-Destructive Habits of Chronically Unhappy People
Unfortunately, not all of us know how to be happy or how to deal with a temporary setback in our pursuit of happiness. When people get stuck in those temporary setbacks, they can easily forget that…

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Chronically unhappy people

Chronically unhappy people

Not everyone knows how to be happy or how to deal with the bumps and annoyances of life. When people get stuck in temporary setbacks, they can easily forget that happiness is never out of reach.

There are some belittling habits to avoid to stay on the course of happiness.

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Complaining a lot

When life throws a curveball, it's enough to make anyone complain. However, when complaining goes unchecked, it can become a habit that makes it easier to be negative than positive.

Tips for coping:

  • Learn to use positive and encouraging language to the people around you and to yourself.
  • Practice seeing the good in every situation.
  • Celebrate the good times, and meet each day with optimism.

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Becoming your own worst critic

Being overly critical of ourselves can increase anxiety about a situation. Mulling over what happened is like self-criticism on repeat.

Tips for silencing your inner critic:

  • Stop expecting perfection from yourself. Learn to accept your mistakes, acknowledge them, then put them behind you and focus instead on continued growth.
  • Stop looking for what's wrong about you and focus on what's right about you.
  • Turn your attention to what could go right instead of what could go wrong.

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Waiting for someone to make you happy

Unhappy people are waiting for something or someone to make them happy. However, if you wait for others to make you happy, it will never happen. You are responsible for your own experiences. Your happiness depends more on your attitude and what you choose to do than on external circumstances.

Tips for exercising your brain for happiness:

  • Treat each day as a treasure. Make every day count.
  • Don't put off starting your passion project you've been thinking of.
  • Stop comparing yourself to others. Instead, choose to become a better version of yourself.

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Not knowing how to forgive

Forgiveness is essential for your emotional growth. Forgiveness does not mean putting yourself in a position to be hurt by the same person over and over. It means acknowledging that you were wronged, then putting it behind you and moving on with your life.

How to forgive:

  • Forgiveness means letting go of the anger and pain and moving on to a better place mentally.
  • Commit to stop focusing on past experience.
  • Resentments can break a relationship. Choose to focus on your positive experiences instead.

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Spending more time with other unhappy people

Negative people tend to attract more negative people. Unhappy people like to have others indulge them while they wallow in self-pity. While we all will feel sad at times, staying unhappy can do more harm than good.

What to do about it: Choose your company. Surround yourself with happy and optimistic people as much as possible. Spending time with people whose behavior is more positive will slowly train your brain to think and act like them.

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Winston Churchill

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Thomas Jefferson

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"I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it."

If you are unhappy

... you have 2 options:

  • You can complain about it and hope it magically changes.
  • You can set out to make a change.

If you are unhappy you owe it to yourself to make a change -- life is too short to delay any longer.

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Happy people are responsible

  • They don't hold on to grudges. Forgiving and forgetting is absolutely necessary.
  • They don't make excuses. They use failure as an opportunity to change for the better.

Happy people are well rounded people

  • They savor the moment. They "stop to smell the roses".
  • They're busy, but not rushed. A healthy work-life balance is key.
  •  They don't sweat the small stuff. They focus only of what is important and within their control.

Happy people invest in their relationships

  • They spend money on others. One reason is that it creates social connections.
  • They celebrate other people's success through "active and constructive" responding.
  • They treat everyone with respect and kindness. Kindness, like happiness, is contagious.
  • They're proactive about relationships. They work on maintaining their relationships.
  • They express gratitude. It improves mood and energy and decreases anxiety.
  • They engage in deep, meaningful conversations.

Diffuse the fear of being rejected

... by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt.

To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffect...

Interrupting rumination

Make a contract with your partner, family, and friends allowing them to catch you in the throes of verbal diarrhea when you were unfairly treated.

Work out three or four different activities that will distract you and turn your attention to something productive. 

Regulate the number of rejection opportunities

 ... you expose yourself to.

We all have a different threshold of the amount of rejection we can handle. Wisely considering how much more you can handle is essential. 

Before you take another step forward, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support in place to catch you.