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How We Judge Others is How We Judge Ourselves
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Why We Judge Others
There are many ways we choose to measure the value of our own lives, be it money or popularity of family or good deeds.
The way you measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure you.
If you measure your life by how much you’ve traveled, then you will measure other people by the same standard.
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Judging Mindfully
Traits we will not tolerate within ourselves, we will not tolerate in others. It is a choice we make. We should make those choices consciously and not without thinking.
It’s why corrupt officials choose to be corrupt: because they assume everyone else is as corrupt as they are. It’s why cheaters choose to cheat. It’s why those who can’t trust are the ones who can’t be trusted.
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Recognize our own fixation
Recognize how you measure yourself and consciously choose your metric. Also, realize that everyone has their own criteria that will not be the same as yours.
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No-one will ever view us as we view ourselves.
We should consider if we are entitled to be seen by others the way we see ourselves.
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Discover Your Values
Being able to achieve a success metric is hard, but knowing which metric to achieve is even more important. Discover what you value and choose your own metrics for success, otherwise, your environment will dictate it for you, which could be unfulfilling for you.
Work towards your own idea of success and don’t let “FOMO” make you feel like a failure because you’re not meeting someone else’s metrics for success.
Peter Drucker
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How to spot toxic self-esteem
Toxic self-esteem is easy to notice. One can see a disconnect between how the person sees himself, and how the world sees him.
It is your coworker who’s incompetent in their job but t...
Lasting high self-esteem
Self-esteem is how we think we are doing in our own worlds. It is made up of an internal valuation of ourselves. It cannot be an objective assessment, as we decide what our metrics are.
Prioritize your good self-esteem (for instance, how honest or compassionate you are) over the toxic ones (how nice your shoes are.)
Accept your low self-esteem
First, give yourself the headspace to work on a solution by accepting your feelings surrounding your low self-esteem. Your feelings are temporary. Accept them for the moment. Don't cover them up. Don't try to overcompensate for them.
Put your focus on the skills you need to acquire, not on how you feel.