'I Have Everything, But I'm Still Sad and Angry' - Deepstash

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'I Have Everything, But I'm Still Sad and Angry'

https://www.thecut.com/2020/01/ask-polly-i-have-everything-but-im-still-sad-and-angry.html

thecut.com

'I Have Everything, But I'm Still Sad and Angry'
Dear Polly, I love how you can take people's problems and strip away the layers to reveal the raw human emotions and desires underneath. Compared to some of the heartbreaking submissions you get, I know I really can't complain about my life. But that's why I'm asking for your help.

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Having 'everything'

We think once we have a fulfilling job, we'll be happy, or once we have a loving partner or children, we'll never feel dissatisfied again.

Yet, when we have all these things, we still feel negative and sad.

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Hiding from yourself

Pretending you’re normal and trying to fit in with the innocents in your midst keeps you sad and negative.

Don't stigmatize your dissatisfaction or restlessness. Don't scold yourself for your feelings, but make more space for them. These sensations will lead you down a new path toward joy.

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Converse with your negative self

Try inviting your sad and negative self to find out why you feel this way. You won’t know what you truly want until you listen patiently to yourself. If you give it time, you'll find out what you really long for.

Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.

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Make some room for yourself

A wrong view of yourself can sometimes cloud your understanding of who you are. Thinking you are not enough, you’re doing it wrong, you're making a mess, will make you feel misunderstood and unimportant. 

You feel this way because you treat yourself this way. Make some room for yourself. Clear a path for your desires.

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Instead of trying to fix everything, just remain calm, forgive and move on. This is one of the surest ways to get your happiness back.

Helen Keller
“People don’t like to think, if one thinks, one must reach conclusions. Conclusions are not always pleasant.”

Helen Keller

Think big, act small

Never let anything hold you back when you think of ideas.

You’ve got nothing to lose. Just make sure you act small. Put in the work and stay practical.

Problems are unanswered questions

Every time you experience stress over a problem, you’re basically sabotaging your life.

A problem is nothing but an unanswered question. So stay calm. And figure out the answer.

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Find a matching mentee

If you decide on becoming a mentor, you might want to consider choosing a mentee who shares your interests. It will make everyone's life easier. Moreover, you will also be able to provide more ...

Building effective mentoring relationships

Mentoring requires having a clear idea of how the sessions themselves are to happen. 

Make sure that from the very beginning you communicate to your mentee exactly how all is going to take place: how often, where, how, etc. Get to know the other and use all the means you dispose of in order to help him or her reach the desired goal.

A mentor's real purpose

More than giving directions, a mentor is supposed to provide the so-called pieces of supportive advice, which will enable the mentee to make up her or his mind, based on their own beliefs.