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We all want to share our lives with another person. The compassion, intimacy, and understanding that comes with love give life a special meaning.
To love is to want to own. We want someone whom we can never fully have, so we have him or her in every way we possibly can.
We want to become a part of our partners. We want to know their thoughts, history, beliefs, the way they see the world. We want to give the people in our lives things because in doing so we are becoming a part of their lives and therefore owning a piece of their history.
All these things revolve around you as a lover. You are all that really matters in the equation.
You love people for the way they look and act. You love them for the way you interpret that person, but your interpretations may not always be accurate and may change over time.
If you can learn to have better control of those interpretations, and the person doesn't stray too far from the outline you've created of him or her, you can happily own them until the day you die.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
Pursuing productivity for its own sake is counter-productive.
Most people feel able to complete more tasks when they start using time-management tools, but they don’t bear in mind that they can’t keep increasing their productivity forever, and they commit to more and more. In a few weeks, they are more productive but still frustrated.
Back when more people worked in factories, laborers did not have to deal with time management. At the assembly line, time was managed for you.
Freedom comes with responsibility: you have to think a lot more about how you manage your time.
To us, being loved in a relationship is perhaps the highest ideal. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Being loved validates our sense of self-esteem and soothes our fears of loneliness.
There is an amount of healthy idealization that helps us fall in love.
However, if we’re depressed or have low self-esteem, we’re more likely to idealize a prospective partner and overlook signs of trouble, such as unreliability or addiction, or accept disrespectful or abusive behavior. A lack of a support system or loneliness might also blind us to potential faults.
It is far better to first deal with these concerns before entering into a relationship.