Why Falling In Love Should Be The Most Selfish Act Of Your Life - Deepstash

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Why Falling In Love Should Be The Most Selfish Act Of Your Life

https://www.elitedaily.com/dating/why-falling-in-love-should-be-the-most-selfish-act-of-your-life

elitedaily.com

Why Falling In Love Should Be The Most Selfish Act Of Your Life
I'd like to say that every person in the world who isn't already with someone is surely looking for someone. Of course, there are those who have lost someone, who refuse to look for someone new or those who have given up on the search altogether....

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What it takes to love someone

We all want to share our lives with another person. The compassion, intimacy, and understanding that comes with love give life a special meaning.

To love is to want to own. We want someone whom we can never fully have, so we have him or her in every way we possibly can.

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Love is selfish

We want to become a part of our partners. We want to know their thoughts, history, beliefs, the way they see the world. We want to give the people in our lives things because in doing so we are becoming a part of their lives and therefore owning a piece of their history.

All these things revolve around you as a lover. You are all that really matters in the equation.

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Loving an interpretation

You love people for the way they look and act. You love them for the way you interpret that person, but your interpretations may not always be accurate and may change over time.

If you can learn to have better control of those interpretations, and the person doesn't stray too far from the outline you've created of him or her, you can happily own them until the day you die.

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Falling in love

To us, being loved in a relationship is perhaps the highest ideal. It gives our lives meaning and purpose. Being loved validates our sense of self-esteem and soothes our fears of loneliness.

Whom We Find Attractive

Our self-esteem, mental and emotional health, positive and negative life experiences, and family relations all influence whom we’re attracted to. 

The Ideal Stage of Romance

There is an amount of healthy idealization that helps us fall in love.

However, if we’re depressed or have low self-esteem, we’re more likely to idealize a prospective partner and overlook signs of trouble, such as unreliability or addiction, or accept disrespectful or abusive behavior. A lack of a support system or loneliness might also blind us to potential faults.

It is far better to first deal with these concerns before entering into a relationship.

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