'I've Lost My Joy and I Want It Back!' - Deepstash

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'I've Lost My Joy and I Want It Back!'

https://www.thecut.com/2020/01/ask-polly-ive-lost-my-joy-and-i-want-it-back.html

thecut.com

'I've Lost My Joy and I Want It Back!'
Dear Polly, I love your column and your book, How to Be a Person in the World. I'm not the best at putting what's in my heart into words, but I've been feeling something bubbling up inside me and I hope you can give me some advice.

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Depressing News

We are living in strange, moralistic and masochistic times, with massive problems that need to be confronted, daily.

Keeping oneself entangled in the daily news coverage only adds to our depression and anxiety.

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Protect Your Brain

We need to protect our brain from negativity, hatred, and racism that we see all around us.

The outside world and its many twisted problems, shown to us 24/7 aren't helping us or our family in any positive way.

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Forgiveness

Our daily lives are filled with ugliness, and forgiveness is the key to survival in this age.

Instead of trying to fix everything, just remain calm, forgive and move on. This is one of the surest ways to get your happiness back.

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Having 'everything'

We think once we have a fulfilling job, we'll be happy, or once we have a loving partner or children, we'll never feel dissatisfied again.

Yet, when we have all these things, we still feel ne...

Hiding from yourself

Pretending you’re normal and trying to fit in with the innocents in your midst keeps you sad and negative.

Don't stigmatize your dissatisfaction or restlessness. Don't scold yourself for your feelings, but make more space for them. These sensations will lead you down a new path toward joy.

Converse with your negative self

Try inviting your sad and negative self to find out why you feel this way. You won’t know what you truly want until you listen patiently to yourself. If you give it time, you'll find out what you really long for.

Sometimes, it is something about the way you've structured your days that doesn't honor the potential and countless possibilities that are stretched out before you. Or something about your anxiety has caused you to build things that restrict you. Your fears will keep you inside predictable shapes.

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Feeling lazy

Some people do the least to get just enough benefit. They can work hard, but only for a short amount of time. They always procrastinate with everything from cleaning to...

You form your identity

You make messiness and procrastination part of your identity when you don't want to do something you have to do and use the excuse that it is just "who you are." 

For example, you want to clean up after yourself, but you also don’t want to clean up, and then think, "This is me. Yes, I’m a lazy, procrastinating mess.” 

Conflicted about your choices

As long as you're conflicted about your preferences and the ways you've chosen to identify yourself, you have a problem.

It could be that you don't want to disappoint yourself and clearing the lowest hurdles possible. You are choosing a lifestyle of avoidance and low expectations.

Kakeibo

Kakeibo

Kakeibo translates as "household financial ledger" and is a simple approach to managing your finances.

For the past 116 years, kakeibo has been effective in helping people make smarter fin...

Your relationship with money

The idea behind kakeibo is to help you understand the relationship with money by keeping a ledger with all incoming and outgoing transactions.

The difference from other budgeting systems is that kakeibo emphasizes the importance of physically writing things down as a way to observe your spending habits.

Reduce impulse buying

Before purchasing non-essential items ask yourself:
  • Can I live without this item?
  • Based on my financial situation, can I afford it?
  • Will I actually use it? Do I have space for it?
  • How did I come across it in the first place? (Did I come across it after wandering into a gift shop out of boredom?)
  • What is my emotional state in general today? (Calm? Stressed?)
  • How do I feel about buying it? (Happy? Excited? Indifferent?)
  • How long will this feeling last?