The Critical 7 Rules To Understand People | Scott H Young

Selfish altruism is a win/win situation.

It usually applies in these categories:

• Transactions: buying cars, for example (you get your car, the dealer gets a bonus); doesn’t imply emotional bonds
• Family: protecting people that share our genes
• Status: helping someone as a sign of dominance or to up our self-esteem
• Reciprocity: “I help you, so you help me”

So, don’t expect people to offer aid outside of selfish altruism. Understand their motives and work with what you have.

People have trouble remembering things. Especially those that do not apply to themselves. 

Don’t assume malice or disinterest if something is forgotten. Instead, you can demonstrate reliability by having a system that keeps you from forgetting.

People tend to have stronger feelings than they let on. Do not assume someone is fine just because that person is not having a nervous breakdown.

Everybody has their individual problems, so being sensitive to the true feelings of people gives you the opportunity to help and understand others.

The same thing applies to you: people generally assume you are fine, unless you have a blowup.

Many people that seem to have it all, suffer from loneliness. As social animals, the desire to be with other people is strong.

If you visualise how many people are actually alone and how common this feeling is, you can minimize your own feeling of loneliness.

People tend to be too concerned about themselves to give you much attention. They tend to be lonely and more emotional than they are showing; apply this to how you view the world.

This perspective could help you be more proactive and independent.

Be realistic: if you place your individual happiness in the hands of another person, you ignore all of the above and do so at your own peril.