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The Subtle Art of Connecting With Anyone

https://designluck.com/connecting-with-anyone/

designluck.com

The Subtle Art of Connecting With Anyone
The late George Carlin is probably one of my favorite comedians. I always found him to be raw and honest, and like most great comedians, there was a sense that he wasn't there to just make you laugh. He had a subtle truth

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Shared Culture in Personal Relations

One of the reasons for bonding between groups of people is the shared culture that they have created. Culture is an invisible presence, a set of beliefs, history and rituals that encapsulates the values of the group, their conduct and their vision. This applies to movements, companies, and families.

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Large Groups Vs Small

A culture created in a two-way relationship or a small group is positive and open because it allows for differences to exist, which are not allowed by large groups in which cultures are attached to your identity.

Creating the right kind of culture organically is the magic of a strong relationship, something that is difficult in large groups with a shared ideology.

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Connections and Happiness

The idea of a complete and fulfilling life is always related to personal relationships. Happiness, in a way, is the other person. Happiness is our connections, and the relationships we foster, which create and shape us.

It's a lost art to cultivate personal relationships without agenda or motive, just connecting and trying to understand and relate to different people.

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The Value of a Shared Culture

The Value of a Shared Culture

Having a shared culture (created by us) is one of the reasons for our possibility to connect with each other. This culture is formed by the pieces of information related to our group values, how t...

The Culture Of Individual Relationships

The culture built in an individual relationship is more open and meaningful than a group culture, because it gives the possibility for differences to exist without them getting in the way.

When we're developing individual friendships, we’re setting up tacit, but dynamic rules for these relationships (with each conversation and shared experience we go through). This creates organic connections and sets the rule for the future - every future communication we have will be defined by the rules and the context set by our past communications.

When Happiness Is Related To Other People

Happiness is related to the connections and the relationships we form - they define and shape us.

If happiness and fulfillment rely on the quality of our relationships, then we all need to prioritize the act of understanding and nurturing our shared cultures.

Chemistry vs. compatibility

  • Compatibility refers to the similarities between lifestyles and values that form the relationship without too much forcing or compromising on anyone’s part.
  • Chemistry

Judging people

Don't judge someone by the information they put in an online profile. They may look like a perfect fit, but lack the chemistry when you finally meet in person.

Similarly, it can be easy to write someone off because your ideals don't match on paper. Who's to know if you won't have chemistry in real life?

Rejection is normal

It's impossible to please everyone. And rejection is a way to figure out who’s compatible with whom: getting axed from a social group gives you space to find folks that are a little ...

It’s okay to feel pain

When we get rejected, our brains register an emotional chemical response so strong, it can physically hurt. 

We go through almost the same stages as if we were grieving (self-blame, trying to win back our rejecter because we hate being disliked, and feeling like a failure). These feelings are healthy and normal, so long as you don’t end up dwelling on them.

It’s not (totally) your fault

Rejection is personal, and it’s easy to start questioning your self-worth when someone makes it clear they don’t like you. 

But for the most part, being disliked is a matter of mutual compatibility. Keep in mind that likability has a lot to do with what you bring to someone else’s table, whether or not you realize it. 

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