One of the reasons for bonding between groups of people is the shared culture that they have created. Culture is an invisible presence, a set of beliefs, history and rituals that encapsulates the values of the group, their conduct and their vision. This applies to movements, companies, and families.

Shared Culture in Personal Relations

A culture created in a two-way relationship or a small group is positive and open because it allows for differences to exist, which are not allowed by large groups in which cultures are attached to your identity.Creating the right kind of culture organically is the magic of a strong relationship, something that is difficult in large groups with a shared ideology.

Large Groups Vs Small

The idea of a complete and fulfilling life is always related to personal relationships. Happiness, in a way, is the other person. Happiness is our connections, and the relationships we foster, which create and shape us.It's a lost art to cultivate personal relationships without agenda or motive, just connecting and trying to understand and relate to different people.

Connections and Happiness

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The late George Carlin is probably one of my favorite comedians. 
I always found him to be raw and honest, and like most great comedians, there was a sense that he wasn't there to just make you laugh. He had a subtle truth to share and that truth was best delivered as a joke . 
In this way, towards the later years of his career, he said something in an interview with Jon Stewart that resonated with me quite a bit. 
Of course, we can all apply our own nuanced lensto that statement and pick out exceptions here and there, but to me at least, there is some sense there.
Many groups of people do great things. Many groups of people do bad things. In either case, what they have in common is that they are ideologu es . And realistically speaking , if they weren't, they likely wouldn't acco mplish much. 
Still, there is something there that rubs me the wrong way . Maybe it's their pure conviction that they're right, or maybe it's just their way of operating. 
That's why the first part of that statement, about loving individuals, is interesting. Because I do. And I'm consistently reminded of that fact every time I get out of my regular routine and meet a swarm of new people. 
That's fascinating to me, and it makes me wonder what it really is about individual relationships that make them successful. 
How and why does a personal connection with someone work? 
<h3>The Value of a Shared Culture </h3>
A while ago, someone asked me how I would describe what it's like to bond with someone. I remember thinking about it for a moment before saying that it was something like sharing an invisible stream of consciousness with another person. 
I'm not entirely sure I knew what that meant then, but I think I do now.
One of the reasons that groups of people are able to bond together is because of the shared culture that they have created . This culture is essentially an invisible presence that contains knowledge about what a particular group values, how they conduct themselves, and where they want to go . 
I t's the glue that binds us together . I t's what adds context to our discussions , it's what inspires us when no one is looking, and it's what moves us to action. 
That's not everything, though. It's also what divides us. In fact, most cultures are built around distinctions. They h ighlight what it i s about them that is different, and they then use these differences to attack each other. 
In large groups, with mature cultures, this is more prevalent than in small groups, with blossoming cultures , which explains my distaste for the former . 
The interesting thing, however, is that individual relationships have a culture , too, and a connection is about nurturing that . And the beauty of a culture between individuals is that it doesn't have the downside of group cultures. 
That's what I meant by my earlier statement in regards to bonding,and tha t's mostly where the good stuff in a r elationship comes from. The intimate secrets. The shared vulnerabilities. The inside jokes . 
When I'm forming, say, a friendship with someone, outside of a group setting, we're creating unspoken rules about our relationship in a dynamic way . O ne conversation at a time . One shared experience at a time . 
Over time, this allows an organic connection to form - whether or not we agree on big issues or small - because every future conversation we have will be defined by the context created by past conversati ons . 
T he culture created in a two- way relationship is far more nuanced and open than a culture attached to your identity because of your affiliation to a group . It allows differences to exist without them getting in the way . 
<h3>Happiness Is in the Unspoken </h3>
I n a way, happiness is other people. It's the connections we build and the relationships we foster. They create us , and they continue to shape us . 
Something that has recently hit home with me, personally, is h ow profoundly time and a deliberate investment of effort changes thing s . On the surface, this is quite an obvious realization, but I think there is more to it, too. 
As nice as it is to meet new people and to connect with them in ways that you maybe didn't even realize you could in spite of your differences , the novelty of a new relationship still pales in comparison to something that has survived the test of time, space, and changing life circumstance s . 
The reason, I think, is that there are different levels of shared culture.
It' s the depth you sense when you're both sitting next to each other on a quiet dock, overlooking the water, not saying anything. Not only because you don't need to, but also because the silence itself communicates something . There is a melody there that says more than words usually can . 
This unspoken narrative takes time to cultivate in a relationship, but ultimately, that's where the bulk of the value lies . That's what the poets and the philosophers talk about when they talk about true companionship. 
<h3>The Takeaway</h3>
There is an old saying that has stuck with me for a few years now. I don't remember the source, but it goes something like the following:
This is further reinforced every time I meet and connect with someone new.
We tend to associate the word culture with the vast collective consciousness around us, but there are different levels of culture . Levels beyond the societal, the political, and the economic. Levels that show up in personal situations . 
Every relationship has a shared culture , and this culture is responsible for shaping each and every interaction in that relationship . It's what allows us to connect with people who we otherwise may not understand or relate to. It's what fosters bonds and creates new associations. 
The silences and the unspoken words between people who've put time into their relationship can either be a source of unfamiliarity or connection. 
Generally, what you get depends on what you've investe d . 
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The late George Carlin is probably one of my favorite comedians. I always found him to be raw and honest, and like most great comedians, there was a sense that he wasn't there to just make you laugh. He had a subtle truth

The Subtle Art of Connecting With Anyone

Shared Culture in Personal Relations

Large Groups Vs Small

Connections and Happiness

John Q.'s ideas are part of this journey:

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