Kinds Of Expectations - Deepstash
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Kinds Of Expectations

  • Foreseeable expectations are those which we assume others will know based on our interpersonal relationship with them and feel offended when we see it is breached.
  • Reciprocity expectation is a hope that our favors and kind deeds towards someone are repaid by them.
  • Equity expectations happen when we want to be treated fairly and equally.

These expectations, values and beliefs are all based on our past experiences.

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A Sense Of Entitlement

Believing in our values forms our identity and provides us with a sense of entitlement to feel offended because we feel these 'sacred' values should be respected. 

This is amplified by being exposed to a lot of different points of view on social media.

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Changing Perspective

If you want to avoid offending someone, you can start by seeing the problem with the other person's point of view and finding out the root cause of the problem, understanding that there may be:

  • Many things you don't know about the other person.
  • Many things they don...

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Feeling Offended

Taking offence is an experience of negative emotions triggered by a word or deed which conflicts with what is expected or believed to be correct, suitable, moral and acceptable behaviour.

This feeling of being offended is deeply rooted in our expectations, which are usually f...

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Three types of expectations

Our expectations are mostly formed in the context of our relationships with others. When they are breached, we tend to feel offended.

  1. Foreseeability expectations. They drive us to expect others to predict the potentially negative impact of their word...

Setting unrealistic expectations

Expectations are our idea of how we think the world should look. This may involve how we should feel, what we should have achieved, and how other people should be treating us.

We could set up expectations that are too high based on arbitrary rules and then become frustrate...

The TRICK framework that drives us

  • T - Tagging. We are quick to label others as needy, manipulative, fake, arrogant, but explain away our own selfish acts and believe we are better than others.
  • R - Righteous. When we find someone difficult, we start believing in t...

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