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Author Gary Chapman developed the theory that there are five basic ways romantic partners give and receive love.
The five love languages are:
The majority of us have one or two dominant love languages, but each of us speaks all five languages to some degree. By learning how to 'speak' each other's preferred love language, you're ensuring both of you feel supported and seen.
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We often speak the love language to our partners that we ourselves want to receive.
If your partner's love language is gifts, they'll put the item on display or wear it every day, But the surest way to find out if your partner's love language is gifts is to ask them.
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If the gifts love language doesn't come naturally to you, you should still learn the language if your partner speaks it.
Look at things in your daily life from a gift-giving perspective. It doesn't have to be expensive, just little reminders that they're always on your mind. If you know someone who speaks gifts as their love language, then not getting them a gift on a special occasion would be very hurtful to them, as would approaching the gift-giving as more a chore than an opportunity.
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It refers to the idea that we all give and receive love differently. The five languages are:
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The idea is: we all express and feel love differently, and understanding those differences can seriously help your relationships.
We all show affection in different ways. These “languag...
The concept of love languages helps pretty much any relationship - it’s useful to understand what matters to people.
It all comes down to knowing what’s important to people so you can understand, empathize and work with them a little better.
We all have different life experiences; we come from different backgrounds. It makes sense that we communicate differently, too.
Some people are obsessed with giving gifts, even if they can't afford it.
Science says we do this because giving to others genuinely makes people happier.
It is useful to map out the habit loop.
People often think that a behaviour feels good, but when they pay attention while acting out that behaviour, they notice that it actually doesn't. After they notice unhelpful behaviours, it is important to replace the habit with something uplifting.
If you equate love and worth with things and giving, it doesn't mean you have to repeat the pattern. You have the autonomy and agency to decide what feels okay for you.
Love, care, and appreciation can be shown in other ways, such as a phone call or a glass of wine with your partner over dinner. People feel happier when they're making a real connection.