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What the new science of narcissism says about narcissists | Psyche Ideas

https://psyche.co/ideas/what-the-new-science-of-narcissism-says-about-narcissists

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What the new science of narcissism says about narcissists | Psyche Ideas
What the new science of narcissism tells us about its nuances, and how to avoid its darts while gaining from its strengths

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Narcissism: Me First

Narcissism: Me First

To be narcissistic is to be selfish, manipulative, and ego-driven. But this trait has varying degrees of intensity, from reasonable selfishness to a villainous and psychopathic personality disorder.

Narcissists need not always be the flashy and over-confident people who are not letting others speak. Many narcissists are insecure, self-focused, and are not in the limelight.

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Narcissistic Personality Disorder

..or NPD, refers to an extremely severe, negative form of narcissism and has the following traits:

  1. Pervasive patterns of self-importance.
  2. Preoccupation of fantasies of extreme power.
  3. A constant need to be admired.
  4. A sense of entitlement.
  5. Lack of empathy.
  6. Willingness to exploit others.

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Somewhere Between Black And White

Most narcissists do not fall in the two extremes of angels (zero narcissism) or demons (impairing disorder) but are somewhere in between, a grey area where they exhibit a certain level of narcissism. This makes diagnosis difficult in most cases.

Psychologists have identified two broad types of narcissism, the grandiose and the vulnerable.

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Grandiose Narcissism

This is the kind of narcissism which is commonly associated with what narcissism is supposed to mean.

This Tony Starkish caricature of a flamboyant personality is noticed due to their loud and bold nature. A measure of grandiose traits are actually positive, and most people don’t mind someone who is popular to be a little stubborn and egoistic.

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Vulnerable Narcissism

We may have seen some hypersensitive people at work, or among friends, who are taking everything to heart, being defensive, spiteful, and avoidant with their interactions. These people are easily hurt and are always insecure, in self-doubt, or in some kind of deep pain.

Their vulnerability makes them fragile and may lead them to hurt themselves and their loved ones.

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Loves to Talk About Oneself

A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. 

Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievem...

Charming with a Catch

Many narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship.

While there’s nothing wrong inherently with being charming and romantic, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only in what he wants to extract from you.

Lack of Reliability and Follow Through

Many narcissists lack reliability and follow through. This can range from regularly breaking appointments, to habitually falling through on promises and agreements.

When you observe a pattern of inconsistency between what your partner says, versus what she or he actually does, you may be dealing with a narcissist.

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Boredom is not that simple to explain

Boredom is not that simple to explain

We may tend to think of boredom as a response to monotonous activities. But boredom isn't this clearcut.

Research reveals that there's a significant variation in how much bo...

Boredom and modern society

Boredom is sometimes described as the plague of modern society.

  • Back in 2016, a French worker sued his former employer for "bore-out." He won.
  • Many people, especially those born between mid -1990s and late 2010s, scrolls aimlessly through apps and find nothing of interest.
  • People are even diagnosing their pets with boredom.

The struggle to define boredom

Psychologists differ in their definition of boredom.

  • In the 1960s and 1970s, boredom was defined as the feeling generated by a repetitive task. Researchers found that boredom increased alertness to the things happening around you (distractions).
  • From 1986, the opposite was found. A study found that boredom caused less concentration.

The Trait Of Narcissism

The Trait Of Narcissism
  • Narcissism is a personality trait that makes a person represent an excessive, almost exclusive focus on the self, putting the social structure out of balance and leading to ...

Narcissism With Humility

Narcissism, it turns out, is not a one-dimensional personality and there are nuances in character and behaviour.

Humble narcissists, people who are egoistic but still able to admit mistakes, and leaders that are trainable, or are able to give other people credit, are a paradoxical but strong leadership package.

Narcissism: Strike A Balancing Act

Counterbalancing the narcissistic traits with humility is something that can be taken up by managers who believe they may fall in this category.
This can be done by:

  1. Finding someone to praise everyday.
  2. Admitting your limitations and mistakes.
  3. Being ‘teachable’ and learn from others.
  4. Trying to act humble..