When Things Fall Apart: Tibetan Buddhist Nun and Teacher Pema Chödrön on Transformation Through Difficult Times

Remaining present and intimate with the moment requires "maitri" - the Buddhist practice of loving-kindness toward oneself.

With "maitri", you're not trying to solve a problem or making the pain go away or becoming a better person. It is giving up control altogether and letting concepts and ideals fall apart. Thoughts and emotions come and go, but basic nowness is always here.

The Tibetan expressions "ye tang che", is another Buddhist concept at odds with our Western coping mechanism. "Ye tang che" means totally tired out. It describes the feeling of complete hopelessness and is the beginning of the beginning.

Without giving up hope - that there's something better - we will never relax with where we are or who we are.