"I’ve counseled hundreds of victims of gaslighting. Here’s how to spot if you’re being gaslighted."

• The need to prove oneself right, or prove the other person wrong, to deflect responsibility, or to tear down the other person, is not a trait for most people by birth but is a gift of society.
• Gaslighters learn from the environment, forming their own strategies of what influences and persuades other people. They believe that each relationship is a power struggle, where they have to assert themselves.
• Some people doing gaslighting might not be even aware of it, and it could be an unconscious bad habit picked up from their friends and relationships.

If the following things sound familiar and common, we may be involved in a gaslighting relationship:

1. Being labelled as too sensitive, hysterical or insecure.
2. Feeling confused or even crazy in the relationship.
3. Always saying sorry.
4. Not able to understand why you are not happier.
5. Having trouble making simple decisions.
6. Being called paranoid or dramatic.

Gaslighters more often than not turn out to be males, with the ‘victim’ being female.

The antidote to gaslighting is to be emotionally aware. One has to become self-reliant and stop being gullible.

1. Identify the problem that you have with your spouse.
2. Remove the distortions and sort out the truth.
3. Understand that there is a power struggle with your partner.
4. Give yourself permission to feel your feelings.
5. Respect yourself.
6. Understand that it is okay to leave someone if required.
7. Talk to your friends
8. Focus on how you feel and not on how something is factually right or wrong.
9. Realize that even if you are right, you cannot control the opinion of others.
10. Indulge in self-care and self-compassion.