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A psychologist explains how to beat social anxiety

https://www.theverge.com/2018/3/21/17147750/social-anxiety-psychology-how-to-be-yourself-ellen-hendriksen-interview

theverge.com

A psychologist explains how to beat social anxiety
Clinical psychologist Ellen Hendriksen is the author of the new book How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. She talks to us about most helpful techniques to combat social anxiety, daring to be average, and why most people's social skills are just fine.

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Introversion and social anxiety are separate

Introversion and social anxiety are separate

Introversion is how you’re wired, whereas social anxiety is something that is holding you back due to fear instead of a choice you're making.

Non-anxious introverts are very happy to leave a party early, but people with social anxiety often leave because they feel so worried and want relief.

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Ellen Hendriksen

"We have to put action before feeling confidence because when we see ourselves doing challenging things, we start to believe we can."

Ellen Hendriksen

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Experiencing social anxiety on social media

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Social media anxiety: Switch your focus

Rather than attending to the conversation at hand, socially anxious people are focused on themselves and continually monitor how they're coming across. They assume the worst about themselves.

When chatting to someone online, try to focus on the other person. Actively listen rather than thinking about how you look or sound. Actively enjoy what is out there. When on a video call, minimise your own image to help you focus more on the conversation.

Don't compare yourself with others

Don't fall into the trap of comparing yourself with others on social media. You may think they have endless fun or seem very popular, but, in reality, social media gives a small glimpse into somebody else's life.

When you find yourself playing comparison games, stop and ask yourself if it is helping you. Do you see the whole picture or just a small fraction of their life? Then try to focus your attention away from social media.

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Reappraising Conversations

Imagining a conversation as a game you are to score as many points as you can. 
6: Shared feeling/experience (that’s when acquaintances become friends)
5: Confirmation of an emotion’s legi...

Don’t Be Self-Centered

It’s key to connecting with people to suspend your ego; to put your own needs, wants and opinions aside. Anxiety does the opposite bringing your feelings and expectations to the forefront.

Focus on the other person. Simply listen to what they have to say and ask them to tell you more. 

Reappraisal

Just because you feel it doesn’t make it real. Feelings come from beliefs. Change the beliefs and feelings will change.

Research and anecdotal evidence show that the simple act of positively reimagining something can be enough to decrease anxiety.

Anxiety encourages us to shop

Anxiety encourages us to shop

Throughout time research has proven that shopping enables individuals to relax and forget about their worries. 

Anxiety is one of the most often met reasons that make people choose shopp...

Anxiety and panic buying

Feeling anxious can lead to quite harmful behaviors, as one tends to always choose the safe path. 

For instance, when stressed over a certain situation directly related to goods, you might feel the need to buy too many products, a fact which, over time, will result in others not having what to buy or you having bought too much and wasting the very products you bought.

Anxiety and the need to buy luxury goods

When faced with difficult periods, like the pandemic we are all dealing with at present, individuals seem to tend to associate luxury goods to a greater safety level. 

Furthermore, research has shown that people believe to be able to distance themselves from danger only by purchasing luxurious and expensive products.