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Do you sometimes feel like a fraud?

https://www.1843magazine.com/features/do-you-sometimes-feel-like-a-fraud

1843magazine.com

Do you sometimes feel like a fraud?
My big brother and I were standing at the door to the showroom at Fort Worth Gold and Silver Exchange, the largest, busiest and most successful jewellery store in Texas. "I can't do it, Darren. I can't face them." "It's just talking to them. It's not that hard, bud," said Darren.

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Impostor syndrome

The impostor syndrome is the sense that our accomplishments are in some way underserved, no matter how consistent the evidence is to the contrary.

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Impostor syndrome is an epidemic

There are several reasons why the impostor syndrome seems to have become an epidemic.

  • We have given the phenomenon a name.
  • Our preoccupation with it is the result of profound social change. Many people work in the service economy, where we create impressions rather than tangible items. 
  • Professional life today leaves us straining to redefine ourselves; we sometimes promise things we don't yet know how to do. 
  • We are no longer born into a role.
  • We can constantly compare our experiences to those of others online.
  • We can create an outward persona we know to be untrue.

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The paradox of being an impostor

In order for you to believe in yourself, you need to convince someone else to believe in you. Once they believe in you, you feel more confident to believe in yourself.

When you're an impostor, you expect to be exposed at any time. You feel that at some point, someone might appear and see you for the fraud you think you are.

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Impostorism has its use

Impostorism is not altogether a bad thing. Successful people should have both enough self-awareness and enough self-doubt to question themselves.

The strange thing is that the more expert you become in a field, the stronger your feeling of impostorism.

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Different types of impostor

  • The Anxious Impostor has negative views of themselves that are unjustified.
  • The Hustling Impostor engages in a deliberate form of self-presentation to achieve ends that may otherwise not be possible. "Fake it till you make it."
  • The Lazy Impostor. They tell themselves that they are not up to the task because they don't really want to do it.
  • The Modest Impostor. They sincerely doubt that they are as important as others claim, but also don't want to be seen as considering themselves as superior.
  • The Wise Impostor. They acknowledge that most people have to fake it a bit, including themselves.

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Impostorism is a form of arrogance

In parenting, we pretend that we know what's best for our children without really knowing. Even if our guidance makes sense, it's just guessing. Realizing this, we at first judge, and later forgive our own parents for it.

With others, we often presume that we know what other people think of our work. We should rather listen to their feedback.

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2 more ideas

Impostor Syndrome

Is a psychological phenomenon that reflects the core belief that you are an inadequate, incompetent, and a failure, despite evidence that indicates you're skilled and successful.

Impos...

Causes of the Impostor Syndrome

From a psychological standpoint, it may be influenced by certain factors early in life, particularly the development of certain beliefs and attitude towards success and one's self-worth.

Signs You Have Impostor Syndrome

  • You don't think you deserve success.
  • You think you're a fake and you're going to be found out.
  • You attribute your success to luck.
  • You think you're not special, anyone can do what you do.
  • You can't internalize your success so you credit others for it.
  • You can't accept praise.
  • Failure is not an option.
  • You use "I'm pretty sure" or "I kind of think" because of lack of confidence.
  • You discredit your achievements.

What Self-Reflection Is

What Self-Reflection Is

Is the process of thinking back on previous events and interpreting them through your experience. 

It’s about taking a step back and reflecting on your life, behavior and beliefs....

The Importance of Self-Reflection

  • It improve self-awareness.
  • It allows you to understand and see things from a different point of view. 
  • It allows you to respond, not react.
  • It facilitates a deeper level of learning.
  • It improves confidence.
  • It makes you challenge your assumptions.

The Process of Self-Reflection

  • STOP: Take a step back from life or a particular situation.
  • LOOK: Identify and get perspective on what you notice and see.
  • LISTEN: Listen to your inner guide, the innate wisdom that bubbles up when you give it time and space to emerge.
  • ACT: Identify the steps you need to take moving forward to adjust, change or improve.