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Three Star Leadership | Wally Bock | Leadership and the Art of Confrontation

https://www.threestarleadership.com/communication/leadership-and-the-art-of-confrontation#

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Three Star Leadership | Wally Bock | Leadership and the Art of Confrontation
When you become a boss you become someone responsible for the performance of a group. In that instant, you become the designated confronter. Some people will behave poorly. Some will underperform. Someone needs to confront them about it and you're it. Others may choose to, but it's your job.

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The Art of Confrontation

  • Develop relationships with your team members: that way both of you are more willing to listen.
  • Don’t put it off.
  • Choose a private and safe place.
  • Plan what you’re going to say, according to the person you are talking to.
  • Be factual and objective
  • Wait for the other person to talk next. When you’ve said your piece, shut up. 
  • Don’t end the session until you’ve agreed on 3 things:  what will change, when it will change and how both of you will know that it’s changed.

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Tough conversations

If leadership is your job, you can’t walk away from them. Because they're part of your job.
These are conversations about performance and behavior. Most bosses dread them.

Make tough conversations easier

  • Touch base often, to catch problems when they're small.
  • Build relationships through conversations. Your employees will learn about you and whether they can trust you.
  • Have regular one-on-ones with your team members.
  • Solve problems as they appear. The smaller, the easier to handle.
  • Keep tough conversations private, away from distractions.
  • Tailor what you say and do to the person you’re meeting with.
  • Treat people with dignity.

Leadership and Listening

Listening is a critical leadership skill you can master. 

It will help you learn about the people you work with, demonstrate you think they’re important, and help you make better ...

Listening will help you lead more effectively

  • When you listen, you learn: about your teammates and what’s important to them, ideas, stories, concerns.
  • Listening sends the message that you value the other person.
  • Listening helps you make good decisions: it slows you down so you can diagnose effectively before you act.

Learn to Listen Well

  • Show that you’re paying attention. Lean in. Make eye contact. Nod.
  • Paraphrase what the other person said and ask them if you got it. 
  • Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to continue and increase your understanding.
  • Take notes during the conversation if it helps you and doesn’t make the other person uncomfortable. 

Don't take credit

Bad leaders take credit for the good things and pin any blame for bad things to others.

Good leaders let the credit go to the team and team members. They only call attention to themselves wh...

Don't call attention to yourself

Your task is to help your team and team members do good work. You should understand that the mission is important, not you.

As a leader, you’re just there to make things work better.

Your coaching style

Coaching should be your primary tool in leading. If your coaching sessions seem more like you’re the therapist and your team member the patient, you’re doing it wrong. 

Your team members should pay attention to how it will be different in the future.