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6 Power Tips for Having a Tough Conversation
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Power tips for tough conversation
- Build positive relationships: Pat people on the back more than kicking them in the pants;
- Tell people they matter by being prepared when they show up
- Choose an effective location - a neutral space or take a walk.
- Stay open: Prepare, but don’t script everything you plan to say.
- Get to the point quickly.
- Turn to the future quickly: State the issue, give an example, declare your positive intention for them and ask, “How might you improve in this area?”
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Tough conversations
If leadership is your job, you can’t walk away from them. Because they're part of your job.
These are conversations about performance and behavior. Most bosses dread them.
Make tough conversations easier
- Touch base often, to catch problems when they're small.
- Build relationships through conversations. Your employees will learn about you and whether they can trust you.
- Have regular one-on-ones with your team members.
- Solve problems as they appear. The smaller, the easier to handle.
- Keep tough conversations private, away from distractions.
- Tailor what you say and do to the person you’re meeting with.
- Treat people with dignity.
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1:1 meetings
1:1 meetings matter. It is important to nurture that essential employee-manager relationship. But it still not easy to get right.
Under pressures, managers are still juggl...
1:1 category
The goal of an effective 1:1 is not an update from your direct report or for you to lay down some instructions. It's a conversation. It's a chance to hear about your direct reports' ideas for your product, their career goals, and possibly their opinion of their performance.
Keep a list of three potential topics ready for discussion. When they say they have nothing to discuss, you can jumpstart the conversation with one of your items.
Manager's best tool
Your most precious resource is your own time and energy. When you spend it on your team, it helps build healthy relationships.
Your job as a manager isn't to give advice or 'save the day.'' It's to empower your reports to find the answer themselves. If you want to understand what's going on, ask. Let her lead the conversation while you listen and probe.
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Step #5: Exits
Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:
- Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!”
- Inside Jokes: “It was g...
Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance
After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability.
This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.
Step #3: Bookmarking
Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:
- Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.
- Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.
- Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.
- You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.