Perfectionism Can Become a Vicious Cycle in Families - Deepstash
Other-oriented perfectionism

Psychologists define other-oriented perfectionism as people who direct their unrealistic perfect expectations outward, such as at their partner, co-workers, and children.

These perfectionists appear to view themselves as flawless and others as coming short. As a result, when people close to them fail, they may often respond with accusations: "If only you did that right, you would be more successful and happier." However, under this type of perfectionism lies insecurity and often narcissism.

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Parents with other-oriented perfectionism may be frequently dissatisfied, creating a tense and controlling home life. Moreover, by holding their children to ambitious standards, they risk passing this tendency to the next generation.



Children can also develop this outlook by being raised in a highly evaluative family that regularly criticised movies, food and other family members. When these parents attempt to help someone, they will yell at or humiliate others to get them to do things their way.

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Studies have found that child-oriented perfectionism can lead to dissatisfaction with parenting and a burden on the role of parents. This burden may increase to such an extent that parents may feel sorry for becoming parents.

However, parents can overcome this tendency by accepting their child as "good enough." Whenever they fail to regard their children unconditionally, they can acknowledge their mistakes, apologise, and do their best to repair the damage.

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