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Perfectionism is killing us
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Perfectionist Behavior
Perfectionist behavior is a broad personality trait prevalent in today's generation. It is defined as a hypercritical relationship with one's self.
While setting high standards for oneself can be deemed as a positive quality, but perfectionism more or less assumes that we are flawed or defective.
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Perfectly Curated Life
Perfectionism is a growing cultural phenomenon that has engulfed a large set of people including celebrities. Some of the causes are:
- Modern parenting
- Competitive economy
- Consumerism and advertising
- Social Media.
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Perfectionism x1000
Social Media acts as the biggest culprit in amplifying perfectionism as youngsters can constantly compare their looks and their lives to others in easily measurable ways.
There is an increased expectation from our family and our peers to be perfect in all aspects of our lives.
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Kinds of Perfectionism
Perfectionism comes in three types:
- Self-Oriented Perfectionism: Demanding perfectionism from oneself.
- Other-oriented Perfectionism: Demanding perfectionism from others.
- Socially Prescribed Perfectionism: Feeling external pressure from the outside world to be perfect.
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Dark Side of Perfectionism
New research shows chronic perfectionism, the kind that doesn't go away as one gets older, leads to suicidal tendencies.
Early warning signs are when people start to take extraordinary or costly measures to hide distress or appear perfect.
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Perfectionism
Perfectionism is a personality trait, which can be an endless pursuit of high standards in every area of our lives, but can also be a 'disorder' like condition or a phobia, akin to '
Constant Mental Punishment
The trait of perfectionism constantly makes a person judge, compare and criticize suboptimal decisions or mistakes in any aspect of the daily routine.
A person starts having mental difficulties, striving to do everything the perfect way, but falling short eventually.
The Voice In The Head
Perfectionism is a voice in our head, constantly fed by the media and society's ideals, coaxing us into doing things in the best way, to get the desired results.
It is useful in its purpose but in extremities can have negative effects on the body and mind.
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Key Ideas
Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress
Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.
You...
Get an outside perspective on your perfectionist tendencies
Talk honestly and openly to someone about your tendencies and how you’re working on getting better.
Ask them to tell you when you are being too fussy about something so you can think about it.
Interrupting the cycle of rumination
- Take note of when you’re ruminating and what triggers it until you can see your patterns and find ways to counteract them.
- Don't trust your first reaction when ruminating. Most of the time, it colors negatively your read of the situation.
- Seek a diversion to break the rumination cycle.
- Think positively: remembering your successes and times you tried new things helps you to not be avoidant of tasks you can’t do perfectly.
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Not Celebrating Your Success
It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated.
Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believ...
Pursuing Perfection, But Never Feeling Perfect
Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.
And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.
Not Allowing Yourself To Fail
Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.