The Art of Saying No Summary

It’s important that we attend to our own needs before attending to the needs of others. This assertion may make you feel uncomfortable, particularly if you strive to be loving and giving in all that you do. 

But allowing your needs to remain unaddressed while you continuously cater to others is the path toward resentment and bitterness.

Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition. It involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion. 

Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation.

Aggressiveness is often an impulse. An aggressive person responds in a hostile or inconsiderate manner and often regrets doing so later. 

By contrast, assertiveness is planned, thoughtful, and considerate. An assertive person communicates his or her position with clarity while taking the other person’s feelings into account. 

The aggressive individual is loud, opinionated, and self-absorbed. The assertive individual understands how to express his or her point of view with grace.

It frees you to pursue your own interests, both personal and professional. To that end, it’ll boost your productivity, improve your relationships, and fill you with a sense of confident calm that may seem alien to you at this moment.

Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition. It involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion. Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation. It is a learned trait.

We want others to be drawn to us, to trust us, and to feel better for having spent time with us. It's unsurprising that we often say yes when we know we should say no. It's an instinctive response borne of our longing for other people's approval. But it's important to recognize this yearning for validation as a trigger for our tendency to say yes. When we're aware of our motivations, we can review them and take steps to realign our decisions with our values.

"people may forget your “NO”, but they will never forget how you said it."

• Assertiveness is declaring your point of view without needing others’ approval or validation. So long as you are being respectful and saying no with grace, how requestors react to it is neither in your control nor your responsibility.
• Aggressiveness is quarrelsome. An aggressive individual communicates in a way that’s rude, dismissive, and even threatening, which definitely fast track to failure.

Saying 'NO' to people is one of the most important skills you can develop.

It frees you to pursue your own interests, both personal and professional.

Saying yes to one thing is saying no to some other thing. Always saying yes putting others' priorities above our own, we are saying no to our aspirations and needs.

Helping others is a good thing. But neglecting our desires and needs in the process, we are hindering our own growth.

1. We don't want to offend people: As long as we are being respectful, there's nothing to feel guilty of.
2. We do not want to disappoint people.
3. We do not want to appear selfish: We are solely responsible for making sure our needs are met. No one is going to do that for us.
4. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)
5. We want to avoid conflicts: Conflicts aren't necessarily bad and harmony is not always possible.

We have a limited number of hours to play with each day. That means every time we say yes to someone, we’re saying no to someone or something else. And every time we say no, we free ourselves to spend that time and attention on another person or interest. In this light, is it truly selfish to say no? I believe it’s not.

• Firstly, What is it to prioritize ourselves? Is it being lonely and selfish, no it's not
• people always have this misconception that makes us feel resentful after declining the requests of others? But at the cost of this mere unreal feeling, we are losing our precious time and totally ourselves. 
• Often I have this feeling too. But one of my favorite personalities Nikola Tesla said "Greatest inventions only comes in solitary". So chasing your dreams is the most difficult thing, you have to sacrifice several things and 
• But all this comes only if we prioritize ourselves and knowing that subtle art of saying no gracefully.

" Before saying yes to others make sure you are not saying no to yourself...!!! "

-UNKNOWN