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5 Strategies Resilient People Use to Overcome Rejection (No Matter How Much it Stings)
Acknowledging Emotions
Trying to minimize the pain by convincing yourself—or someone else—it was “no big deal” will only prolong your pain. The best way to deal with uncomfortable emotions is to face them head-on.
Admit when you're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. Be confident in your ability to cope with discomfort in a healthy manner.
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Key Ideas
Acknowledge Your Emotions
Mentally strong people admit when they're embarrassed, sad, disappointed, or discouraged. They have confidence in their ability to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on, ...
Rejection And Pushing Limits
For mentally strong people, rejection serves as proof that they're living life to the fullest. They expect to be rejected sometimes, and they're not afraid to go for it, even when they suspect it may be a long shot.
If you never get rejected, you may be living too far inside your comfort zone.
Treat Yourself With Compassion
Rather than think, "You're so stupid for thinking you could do that," mentally strong people treat themselves with compassion.
They respond to negative self-talk with a kinder, more affirming message.
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When you feel rejected
At first, rejection interferes with your need to belong. You move through, not feeling good enough, not worthy, unlovable, confused.
Then you move to introspection, looking for the flaws with...
It’s not about you
Instead of gaining control, you subject yourself to the opinion of someone else. It turns you against yourself and away from the truth.
You were not rejected; the outcome you desired was. Be honest about the motives. You might be wanting the wrong thing.
The pain is optional
Rejection means that you are going down the wrong path. You need to turn around.
Life is about learning and growing, and understanding that something better is waiting for you. You don't have to embrace the pain of rejection.
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Key Ideas
Don't become sensitive to rejection
We start with this high volume of negative self-talk and criticism that takes the ...
Rejection hurts
Humans are social animals -- which makes rejection all the more emotionally painful.
Anything that keeps us out of the group in an overt way, we're going to have a hard time with. It's an important aspect of who we are.
Identifying the hardest-hit
People whose self-esteem is lower will experience rejection as more painful, and it'll take them a little longer to get over it. Those who have higher self-esteem -- but who aren't narcissists -- tend to be more resilient.
Rejection-sensitive people might think about 'How can I get myself out of this situation?' or how to avoid a situation altogether.