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Managing and understanding loneliness
Why we become lonely
Personal Circumstances:
Experiencing the break down of a relationship.
Comparing yourself to the apparently ‘happy’ lives of others - seeing only their positives and ignoring the negatives.
- Not having as much social contact.
Losing someone close to you.
Internal Loneliness:
You may find it difficult to like yourself or feel others do not like you.
Experiencing low self-confidence.
Mental Health Conditions:
Experiencing a mental health condition can contribute to feelings of loneliness.
Social contact may be difficult and create high levels of anxiety.
You may find yourself unconsciously or consciously avoiding meeting people.
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Loneliness
Being lonely can mean not feeling part of the world despite having a great deal of social contact with others, or being in a relationship.
Loneliness can have a significant impact on your mental health and your emotional and physical well-being. It can be a contributing factor in anxiety, depression and can lead to prolonged isolation.
Why we become lonely
Personal Circumstances:
Experiencing the break down of a relationship.
Comparing yourself to the apparently ‘happy’ lives of others - seeing only their positives and ignoring the negatives.
- Not having as much social contact.
Losing someone close to you.
Internal Loneliness:
You may find it difficult to like yourself or feel others do not like you.
Experiencing low self-confidence.
Mental Health Conditions:
Experiencing a mental health condition can contribute to feelings of loneliness.
Social contact may be difficult and create high levels of anxiety.
You may find yourself unconsciously or consciously avoiding meeting people.
Practical ways of managing loneliness
- Reconnect with the world around you - Making the most out of social contact
- Spend meaningful time alone - this will develop your ability to manage time spent on your own.
- Do regular physical activity.
- Join a club, group or voluntary organization.
Moving forward from loneliness
We will all at some point face loneliness, isolation and a deep sense of sadness. To move forward from these feelings, we must first look directly at our lonely thoughts and understand what they mean and where they come from.
Realize that you are not alone in your loneliness. We all experience these feelings at some point. Over time, you will feel less lonely and will manage and cope, and find the light at the end of the tunnel.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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A public health problem
Most people consider loneliness a personal problem to be figured out by individuals.
However, a paper published in the American Journal of Public Health identi...
Don’t blame social media
Among the theories on why there is more loneliness today is more time online and less time in front of people.
However, levels of in-person interactions, physical and mental wellness and life balance are more likely to predict loneliness than social media usage.
Young and lonely
Generation Z (ages 18-22) had the highest loneliness scores, followed by the millennials (ages 23-37). The Greatest Generation (adults ages 72 and older) were the least lonely.
Lonely people are less able to pick up on positive social stimuli, like others’ attention and commitment signals, so they withdraw prematurely – in many cases before they’re actually socially isolated.2 more ideas
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1. You Spend Significant Time Together
Outside of normal working hours and with all the things you could be doing in a day, there usually isn’t much time left over to spare.
The fact that you and your significant other ...
2. You Include Each Other In Your Regular Purchases
Such acts of thoughtfulness may go from small and seemingly insignificant to as extravagant as buying matching jewelry. Keeping each other in mind to the point where you’re considering them in your regular purchases, you’re probably in a committed relationship.
3. You Get a Key
It’s a big demonstration of trust if one or both of you have keys to the other’s house.
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6. You Vacation Together
We don’t usually choose to spend several uninterrupted days or weeks of a vacation with people we don’t like a lot. You’re also making memories that last for a lifetime.
7. You Talk About Bodily Functions
Those conversations are usually reserved for medical appointments and the occasional funny story.
If you can speak with your lover about intimate bodily functions, you’re probably more than casual friends; especially if you find that typically private and personal conversations become commonplace between the two of you.
8. You Plan For The Future Together
In a committed relationship, however, it matters what the other person wants to do and where they see themselves in the future. So if you and your partner are making plans together, there’s a good likelihood that your relationship is in for the long haul.
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Loneliness is a perception issue
Loneliness has more to do with our perceptions than how much company we have: it is just as possible to feel very lonely surrounded by people as it is to be content with little social contact.
Dealing with loneliness through creativity
One way people have always dealt with loneliness is through creativity. By metamorphosing their reality into art, lonely people throughout history have managed to interchange the sense of community relationships could foster with their creative outputs.
The artist Edward Hopper (1882–1967) is known for his paintings of American cityscapes inhabited by closed-off figures who seem to embody a vision of modern loneliness.
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Detecting Loneliness
- Scientific literature has linked loneliness to depression, anxiety, alcoholism, and drug abuse.
- Loneliness makes you more likely to fall ill by suppressing healthy immune function....
Loneliness is subjective
It's possible to be completely isolated and feel invigorated.
It is also possible to be surrounded by a crowd or be accompanied by close friends and feel lonely.
Research on loneliness findings
- Research showed that after social isolation, subjects' brain scans showed more activity in the midbrain when shown pictures of social cues.
- When subjects were hungry but had not been socially isolated, they showed a similar reaction to food cues, but not social ones. This shows that the drive for social contact and for things like food seems to be represented in a similar way.
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Post-Breakup Loneliness
The process of breaking up can sometimes be compared to the death of a loved one.
Transitional Loneliness
Major changes can create a sense of loneliness, even if they're positive. You might be leaving a job or starting a new job, ending a relationship or embarking on a new relationship, getting married, getting divorced, [or] starting a family.
When struggling with the adjustment period, it can help to acknowledge the feeling and also acknowledge that it's likely temporary.
Caregiver Loneliness
There's very specific loneliness that can creep in when you're responsible for the care of another person — be it an elderly parent, a sick sibling, a disabled partner, etc.
So even though it's a big job, it's important to not forget about yourself. Find a supportive friend to talk to without judgment, or attend a support group.
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Loneliness Is a State of Mind
Loneliness, according to many experts, is not necessarily about being alone. Instead, if you feel alone and isolated, then that is how loneliness plays into your state of mind....
Causes
- Loneliness is strongly connected to genetics.
- Situational variables, such as physical isolation, moving to a new location, divorce and the death of someone significant in a person's life can also lead to feelings of loneliness.
- Loneliness can be a symptom of a psychological disorder such as depression.
- Loneliness can also be attributed to internal factors such as low self-esteem.
Health Risks Associated With Loneliness
Loneliness has a wide range of negative effects on both physical and mental health, including:
- Depression and suicide
- Cardiovascular disease and stroke
- Increased stress levels
- Decreased memory and learning
- Antisocial behavior
- Poor decision-making
- Alcoholism and drug abuse
- The progression of Alzheimer's disease
- Altered brain function
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Loneliness before quarantine
We crave intimacy. And yet, long before the present pandemic, with its forced isolation and social distancing, humans had begun building their own separate cells.
Before modern times...
Loneliness is a form of grief
It is an umbrella term we use to cover for all sorts of things most people would rather not name and have no idea how to fix.
Plenty of people like to be alone. But solitude and seclusion are different from loneliness. Loneliness is a state of profound distress.
The evolutionary theory of loneliness
Primates need to belong to an intimate social group in order to survive; this is especially true for humans.
Separation from your group (either finding yourself alone or finding yourself among a group of people who do not know and understand you) triggers a fight-or-flight response.
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Being alone during a pandemic
Being alone and, therefore, forced to face our own thoughts, can prove rather disturbing. People need other people to feel well: being sociable is not anymore just a skill to develop, it is a mere ...
Enforced solitude and its advantages
The current pandemic has us facing one of our biggest fears: staying alone, dealing with our own emotions and thoughts. However, this situation has also a great deal of advantages. While in self-isolation, we can use this time to improve ourselves by discovering new hobbies or just developing skills we have already gathered, cultivating our mind through reading. In fewer words, we finally have the time to learn how to deal with ourselves. And this is always a good thing.
The wonders of a clear sense of purpose during isolation
As difficult as it may seem, self-isolation has its benefits. When spending your time alone, the key to handle this situation is to find a purpose in your suffering. In other words, focus on why your suffering is doing good to others as well as to yourself. Furthermore, the fact that you stick to a certain routine or that
everybody is doing the same thing provides you not only with a meaning, but also with a sense of belonging.
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Asking about feelings
The act of asking an open-ended question shows that you care. “What does that feel like?” or “What has been on your mind as you’re going through this?” Then, listen non-judgmentally to ...
Willingness to understand
If someone, for instance, has received a new medical diagnosis, you can say, "It sounds like you're worried about the side effects of the treatment. Is that right?"
You can also express kindness by saying, “You’re in such a tough situation.” A facial expression is also a powerful way to show support.
Offering support
Not every person feels comforted in the same way. Acknowledge that by asking "How can I support you?"
It expresses a desire to assist without jumping in to problem-solve.
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