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4 Ways Your Non-Verbal Communication is Telling a Different Story Than Your Words

Resist the urge to look at your phone

You cannot be present and involved in a conversation if you occasionally look at your phone. 

Whether you intend to or not, you're sending the message that the people you're talking with aren't as important as whatever text, snap or post is on your device. 

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

4 Ways Your Non-Verbal Communication is Telling a Different Story Than Your Words

4 Ways Your Non-Verbal Communication is Telling a Different Story Than Your Words

https://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/4-ways-your-non-verbal-communication-is-telling-a-different-story-than-your-words.html

inc.com

4

Key Ideas

Be careful with eye contact

When you are doing the speaking, you should look the person you're talking to directly in the eyes, but not so much when you're the person listening.

Making eye contact while your interlocutor is speaking actually harms your perceived competence.

Resist the urge to look at your phone

You cannot be present and involved in a conversation if you occasionally look at your phone. 

Whether you intend to or not, you're sending the message that the people you're talking with aren't as important as whatever text, snap or post is on your device. 

Put your phone out of your reach

Phones are altering the fabric of social life.

It's because researchers have found that people with access to their smartphone smile less at strangers, compared with those without devices.

Voice tone and social status

People alter their tone of voice depending on social status. We adjust our voices depending on the persons we are talking to.

In essence, people change their tone of voice when in an anxiety-inducing context, without even being aware of it. And just like body posture, the language we use, or our facial shape and expressions, our voices are part of the arsenal of signals that affect perceptions of social status.

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Active Listening

When someone is coming to you for advice, you have to listen, with intent. You are not supposed to jump into a conclusion and start dishing out advice.

Usually, people just want someone to listen to their problems.

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Common errors when reading people

  • Ignoring context: Crossed arms don’t mean much if the room is cold or the chair they’re sitting in doesn’t have armrests. 
  • Not looking for clusters: It’s a consisten...

Trusting your instincts

Your first impressions are usually pretty accurate. But whether they are wrong or right, first impressions affect us in a big way and we are slow to change them.

You have to be willing to update them quite rapidly. 

Reading first impressions

  • Studies show that if someone seems extroverted, confident, religious or conscientious, they probably are.
  • We all pay more attention to pretty people, and so we tend to take the time to evaluate them.
  • If you want to know if someone is good at their job, watch them do it for 30-60 seconds. 
  • Funny people are smart: Effective humor production acts as an honest indicator of intelligence in humans.

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More Positive Than Negative Feedback

High-performing organizations deliver roughly five times as many positive statements (supportive, appreciative, encouraging) as negative ones (critical, disapproving, contradictory). That’s because...

Focus On The Positive Parts

We tend to focus on giving employees critical feedback. But, by focusing on their weaknesses, we only create competence. By focusing on their strengths, we create excellence.

Give equal measures of positive and negative feedback. We usually gloss over the strengths, but focus in great detail on the critical feedback. Add examples and details to your positive feedback.

Emphasize Collaboration

Be objective when you speak about a negative event. Rather than placing blame or evaluating the problematic situation, describe it and its consequences, and suggest acceptable alternatives.

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