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4 Ways Your Non-Verbal Communication is Telling a Different Story Than Your Words

https://www.inc.com/christina-desmarais/4-ways-your-non-verbal-communication-is-telling-a-different-story-than-your-words.html

inc.com

4 Ways Your Non-Verbal Communication is Telling a Different Story Than Your Words
Robert Green, in The Laws of Human Nature, tells the fascinating story of Milton Erickson, one of the most influential psychotherapists of the twentieth century. At 17, he was struck with polio, paralyzed and confined to his home for several months before regaining his ability to speak and walk.

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Be careful with eye contact

Be careful with eye contact

When you are doing the speaking, you should look the person you're talking to directly in the eyes, but not so much when you're the person listening.

Making eye contact while your interlocutor is speaking actually harms your perceived competence.

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Resist the urge to look at your phone

You cannot be present and involved in a conversation if you occasionally look at your phone. 

Whether you intend to or not, you're sending the message that the people you're talking with aren't as important as whatever text, snap or post is on your device. 

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Put your phone out of your reach

Phones are altering the fabric of social life.

It's because researchers have found that people with access to their smartphone smile less at strangers, compared with those without devices.

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Voice tone and social status

Voice tone and social status

People alter their tone of voice depending on social status. We adjust our voices depending on the persons we are talking to.

In essence, people change their tone of voice when in an anxiety-inducing context, without even being aware of it. And just like body posture, the language we use, or our facial shape and expressions, our voices are part of the arsenal of signals that affect perceptions of social status.

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The Art of Communication

We communicate with each other as a habit but miss a lot in what a conversation really holds.

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Zeno

Zeno

“We have two ears and one mouth, therefore we should listen twice as much as we speak.”

Active Listening

When someone is coming to you for advice, you have to listen, with intent. You are not supposed to jump into a conclusion and start dishing out advice.

Usually, people just want someone to listen to their problems.

Sarcasm is like a truth-lie

Sarcasm is like a truth-lie

You say something you don't literally mean, and the hearer only understands if they get that you're insincere. The ability to recognize sarcasm is an essential skill to function in ...

Understanding sarcasm requires brain power

Studies revealed that exposure to sarcasm enhances problem-solving. It appears to stimulate complex thinking.

Sarcasm also requires the brain to work harder, making it sharper. To perceive sarcasm, a person has to see beyond the literal meaning of the words and understand that the speaker may be thinking of something entirely different.

The dual nature of sarcasm

Sarcasm has a two-faced quality: it's funny and mean.

Some language experts suggest sarcasm is a gentler way to criticize with indirectness. "How do you keep this room so neat?" Other researchers have found the mocking nature of sarcasm as more hurtful than plain-spoken criticism.