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9 Tips To Increase Your Emotional Intelligence For Stronger Relationships
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Emotional intelligence (EQ)
EQ is the ability to be able to recognize and regulate your own emotions, while also empathizing with others and maintaining an awareness of their reactions.
EQ can be developed with practice.
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Know thyself
Having a deep understanding of yourself provides you with more accurate perceptions of how you are coming across to others.
To increase your self-awareness, make an effort to reflect on your strengths, developmental opportunities, triggers, values, and the like so that you are intimately familiar with what makes you tick.
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Be open to feedback and criticism
Weighing feedback can help you guard against blind spots. It can assist you in recognizing if your behaviors are having the effects you are intending.
If they aren't, you can adjust your actions or apologize accordingly (or mindfully choose not to do either).
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Identify your feelings
Do this particularly when you feel yourself experiencing strong emotions.
If a co-worker makes a comment that triggers you, make a mental note of what exactly it is that you might be feeling. It will help you to develop your emotional vocabulary and help you to take a step back from your reactions and engage the parts of your brain associated with problem-solving.
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Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose ... and non-judgmentally, to the unfolding of experience moment to moment.
By learning to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment, you can increase your awareness of them with more clarity.
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Breathe deeply
If we can calm our body's reaction to our stress, the emotional component is mitigated.
Nip your body's stress in the bud, and you'll find that your emotional stress will decrease accordingly. When you feel tense, breathe slowly and deeply, concentrating on letting the air flow in and out of your abdominal cavity.
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Question your stories
Instead of succumbing to a knee-jerk negative reaction when you become upset by someone else's actions, slow down and consider if there are other ways of explaining the situation.
Even if you don't change your opinion regarding what happened, the additional time spent thinking about it may calm you down enough to opt for a more constructive response.
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Celebrate your positive emotions
People who experience more positive emotions enjoy better relationships and are more resilient in response to negative events.
Be intentional about doing things that bring you joy. Practice gratitude, engage in acts of kindness, exercise and reminisce about positive experiences.
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Empathize
Emotionally intelligent people are skilled at putting themselves in other people's shoes.
Consider situations from others' perspectives to better understand those around you. This increased insight will enable you to connect with them more effectively, and may even teach you something about yourself in the process.
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Make active-listening your priority
Deal with conflict more effectively by tackling issues head-on in an assertive, but respectful manner — all without defensiveness.
By listening empathetically to the other person, you will also create the space for taking your own thoughts and feelings into account.
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What Emotional Fitness is
It's the idea that in order to lead healthy, happy emotional lives we need consistent habits and exercises that support our mental health and wellbeing.
The Benefits of Emotional Fitness
- Decreased stress: you learn to manage your triggers.
- Better communication in relationships: it helps you to tolerate and manage difficult emotions and then find more productive ways to work through difficulties.
- Decreased anxiety: you train your mind to stop fearing its own emotional reactions.
- You stick with your goals: you learn to deal with emotions like anxiety, shame, regret.
- Increased self-awareness: you learn to build a better relationship with your emotions.
Get to know your emotions
- Emotional clarity: Taking the time to deliberately reflect on our emotions, to observe and label them.
- Emotional myth-busting: Eliminating myths and misconceptions floating around people’s minds about emotions.
- Emotional tolerance: Learning to resist short-term gratification and instead invest in long-term values.
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Emotional Intelligence
Reduce Negative Emotions
... so they don't overwhelm you and affect your judgment.
In order to change the way you feel about a situation, you must first change the way you think about it.
Increased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for my dream job. I’ll be devastated if they don’t hire me.”
Decreased fear of rejection: “I’m applying for three exciting positions. If one doesn’t pan out, there are two more I’m well qualified for.”
Stay Cool and Manage Stress
How we handle stressful situations can make the difference between being assertive versus reactive, and poised versus frazzled. When under pressure, the most important thing to keep in mind is to keep our cool.
- If you feel nervous and anxious, put cold water on your face and get some fresh air.
- If you feel fearful, depressed, or discouraged, try intense aerobic exercises. Energize yourself.
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Emotional Intelligence( EQ/EI)
Is the measure of an individual’s abilities to recognise and manage their emotions, and the emotions of other people, both individually and in groups.
Benefits of a higher EQ
- Ease in forming and maintaining interpersonal relationships and in ‘fitting in’ to group situations.
- A better understanding one's own psychological state, which can include managing stress effectively and being less likely to suffer from depression.
IQ and EQ
There is no correlation between IQ and EQ scores.
IQ has no connection with how people understand and deal with their emotions and the emotions of others (EQ).
You simply can’t predict emotional intelligence based on how smart someone is.