A World Class Mediator Shares 7 Ways to De-escalate Your Office Tension

Good communication is a full-body experience. It’s how we breathe. It’s our tone. It’s our gestures. 

Cultivate habits like keeping an open expression, avoid defaulting to crossed arms, and taking deep breaths to help change the tenor of an interaction.

To avoid miscommunication, repeat or summarize their words back to them in a form like, “What I’m hearing you say is…” It creates a feedback loop that allows someone to course correct or dial it back.

A mediation mindset is a place for trying to get to the root of an issue. That might mean proceeding without an agenda and just trying to learn more. 

Use open-ended questions: "Can you tell me why?” Keep the questions to six words or fewer. And don’t think too much. Just be curious.

One of the traps of digging into hard conversations is a desire to get to a copacetic place where everyone feels better. 

Head for the fiery core of the issue. Find the pain points. And, before getting wrapped up in resolving, acknowledge how they’re affecting everyone. The ultimate goal of mediation, after all, isn’t agreement. It’s understanding.