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Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections

The Secure Attachment Style

With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as important as maintaining your independence.

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Your Attachment Style Determines the Quality of Your Connections

riskology.co

Key Ideas

Attachment style

It describes the way you relate to others based on how you perceive yourself and the people around you.

Anxious-Preoccupied

This could be you if you often feel like you give more to relationships than you get back.
You worry people don't value you.
You tend to exaggerate when you show people the value you place on them.
This anxiety might not be attractive to people that don't have the same attachment style.

Dismissive-Avoidant

This could be you if you put your independence above all.
You tend to think less of others.
You carefully guard your emotions and try at all costs to keep away from rejection.
You're more likely to connect with people who express the anxious-preoccupied type because they’re more likely to accept the power imbalance.

Fearful-Avoidant

This could be you if you are independent, but because you struggle with trusting others.
You fear that you might get hurt by other people.
You seem detached and distrustful and that will influence in a negative way the way people interact with you.

The Secure Attachment Style

With a secure attachment style, you are comfortable with showing and accepting vulnerability.
You are self-aware: you know who you are are you are comfortable in your skin.
You don’t really worry about being lonely or if people accept you, and being connected to others is as important as maintaining your independence.

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

Attachment Theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between humans. It begins as children with our attachment to our parents. The nature of this attachment, and how well it's fostered and cared for, will then influence the nature of our attachment to romantic partners later in our life.

Key Ideas

Attachment Theory

Attachment theory is an area of psychology that describes the nature of emotional attachment between people, starting with your parents. The quality of how well you were cared for will then influen...

Secure Attachment Style

People with this style are comfortable showing interest and affection.
They are comfortable being alone and independent.
They can correctly prioritize their relationships.
They are able to draw clear boundaries and stick with them.

50% of the population is secure attachment types.

Anxious Attachment Style

They are often nervous and stressed about their relationships.
They need constant reassurance and affection from their partners.
They have trouble being alone or single.
They are often in unhealthy or abusive relationships.
They have trouble trusting people.
Their behavior can be irrational and overly emotional.

6 more ideas

Why is it so hard to forgive an ex?

bbc.com

Break-ups are never easy, but why do some people fight to win an ex back while others run a mile? The temptation to rekindle an old flame is deeply rooted in our psychology.

Key Ideas

Rekindling Of An Old Flame

Breakups and subsequent renewals are quite common across all types of romantic relationships and even marriages.

Falling apart and then seeking to mend the old relationship seems to be dee...

The Protest Phase

When people experience breakups they go through the ‘protest’ phase initially, and the rejected lover becomes obsessed with winning back the person who has quit the relationship.

Rejection, paradoxically, makes the rejected person love the partner even more. This is called a ‘Frustration Attraction’, and can be categorized as an addiction.

Chemical Reactions

The rejected lover experiences high levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain, and are visibly stressed out. These chemical reactions trigger many to do crazy things to win their ex back. Such feelings are erased quickly if the lover starts dating a new partner.

Some people also feel increasingly passionate and loving after the breakup and are more likely to forgive their ex.

5 more ideas

How you attach to people may explain a lot about your inner life

theguardian.com

In 2006, a team of Norwegian researchers set out to study how experienced psychotherapists help people to change. Led by Michael Rønnestad, a professor of clinical psychology at the University of Oslo, the team followed 50 therapist-patient pairs, tracking, in minute detail, what the therapists did that made them so effective.

Key Ideas

The Way Therapy Works

There is growing research on how therapy actually works. Psychological communication, dialogue, and intervention can work even better than pills.
This seems eve...

Therapy Techniques

Some therapists are just there to listen and provide a backdrop.
Even the silence that they exhibit seems to kindle the patients into divulging more of their most uncomfortable truths.
Others keep the sequence of assignments and tests lined up, never pausing.
Therapists play varied roles to get some valuable information out of the patient and make him better.

Therapy That Works

No particular form of therapy is proven to be better or more effective than others.

Different people prefer or respond to different forms of therapy.

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