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Creating a safe space
Fights often get out of control when you are both full of emotion and expressing it from a place of fear.
One of you has to have enough presence, away from your emotions, to create this safe space within which to have a conversation, to share and be heard.
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What if…?
Ask yourself these questions: “What if the other person had a point? What if I wasn’t being honest with myself? What if I wasn’t taking responsibility for something?”
This will provide a new lens through which you'll see the situation. You might realize that there ...
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Create space
It's useful to agree in advance to call a “timeout” or “press pause” before arguments begin.
It will give you the time to work through what happened. Because arguing when you are in a low emotional state is not going to help you.
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Soft language vs. hard language
- Soft language: it uses “I” statements and focuses on the actions that took place, how they made us feel, and what we want to happen.
- Hard language: it starts with a generic hyperbole like “You always…” or “Why do you never…”
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Other curated ideas on this topic:
The SAFE Technique: Feel
When you come away from the conversation, you might need some place to vent. Find a safe space outside of the office, if possible.
- To remind yourself that you are more than your job, ask trusted friends to hear you out. They may remind you of your accomplishments. Du...
Ingredients of a great conversation
- A great conversation is a two-way street, not a competition.
- A great conversation is a safe space. Fear of judgment will stop you from opening up in front of someone.
- A great conversation fosters relatability. Relating to something that another person ...
A Safe Environment
Create a safe place, free from criticism, because we tend to clam up if we feel like we're going to be criticized.
Rather than criticizing what you don't like, focus on getting ideas out in the open so you can build on them.
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