The SAFE Technique: Feel
When you come away from the conversation, you might need some place to vent. Find a safe space outside of the office, if possible.
- To remind yourself that you are more than your job, ask trusted friends to hear you out. They may remind you of your accomplishments. During the talks, try to understand what about the feedback is upsetting you.
- Using your friends' feedback, make a list of the great things you've done to help increase your confidence.
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The SAFE Technique: Engage
Once you don't feel so down, ask people you trust to help identify your blind spots and talk about improving these areas. Then look at the feedback you've received and compare it to what your boss said.
- Are there overlaps between the feedback of your...
The SAFE Technique: Acknowledge
As your boss talks, actually listen and don't just think of a rebuttal. Ask open-ended questions to show you are engaged in the conversation.
- Your questions are a paraphrase of what your boss says. "I hear you say X, which to me sounds like Y. Is that correct?" ...
Creating a safe space
Fights often get out of control when you are both full of emotion and expressing it from a place of fear.
One of you has to have enough presence, away from your emotions, to create this safe space within which to have a conversation, to share and be heard.
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