Don’t be yourself - Deepstash
Mood Boosters: Put Yourself in a Happy Mood

Learn more about loveandrelationships with this collection

The power of gratitude and positive thinking

Ways to improve your mood

Simple daily habits for a happier life

Mood Boosters: Put Yourself in a Happy Mood

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Don’t be yourself

You might think that your partner is a little bit of an idiot, but you are too. 

Elevate yourself to being a loveable idiot. Compatibility is an achievement, not an algorithm.

118

486 reads

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“They just get me” is wrong

In the dating days, it’s comforting to know you’re on the same page without having to say all that out loud to your new beau. 

The idea that relationships can be built on the need to say very little comes from the Romantics. It creates problems later on when your partner doe...

118

355 reads

Fiction has ruined love

Fiction has ruined love

Fiction is where we learn about love, about having a crush on someone; about the magical moment that one’s eyes meet another’s across a room and how that leads to happily ever after. 

But, love isn’t an indescribable feeling – it’s a skill – and one that we have to wo...

183

732 reads

Love is a classroom

The Ancient Greeks had a good understanding of input vs. output in a long-term relationship. Their view was that people in relationships should alter between teacher and student, student and teacher, in an ongoing pursuit of becoming the best versions of ourselves. 

224

721 reads

‘How I’m crazy’ instruction manual

Thinking we’re easy to live with is an easy mistake to make. 

We’re all broken in some way. We lack self-awareness about the many ways in which we are uniquely mad. Alain de Botton believes we should be swapping instruction manuals on the first date.

122

410 reads

We want to suffer a little bit

If you’re thinking of leaving a partner, ask yourself if things are bad because it really is all their fault? If it is: leave them. If it’s not, you may be experiencing the bitterness of life alongside another person, not because of another person. 

Can you be sure tha...

124

415 reads

Love is a skill

Alain de Botton suggests imagining your partner as a two-year-old. The logic is that we’ve learned to treat children with a degree of patience and understanding that we forget to use with our partners. 

Grown-ups are just big versions of babies, and sometimes we act l...

285

643 reads

Expensive weddings

Alain de Botton is all for having expensive ceremonies. 

It makes it harder for you to quit your marriage and it’s embarrassing to quit if you spent all that money. It sets the bar high for your relationship and that’s a healthy thing. 

96

409 reads

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emil_ftw

Relationships need work. I study how to be good at it.

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Embarrassing yourself

See this as a sign of courage. Making an idiot of yourself is an acceptance that you might fail in the short-term.

And those who fail in the short-term will eventually win in the long-term with practice.

Tearing yourself down

You always talk about yourself in self-deprecating ways: "I'm not as smart as you", "I'm just an idiot, why are you with me?", "You're just with me because you pity me", etc. 

This is a sign of low self-esteem, and most people do n...

Be Honest About Your Fears

Be Honest About Your Fears

You must have a conversation with your partner if both of you are engaging in codependent behaviors. 

You will need a little self-awareness on your part to realize if it is a lack of trust in your partner, yourself, or a combination of both. Deeper conversations should reassure you or your ...

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