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The Art of Leadership

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The Art of Leadership

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Give advice

If you feel compelled to give direct advice, do it. 

Some friends truly want and need to hear your opinion. Honest feedback, even when it may be hard to hear, can be just the tonic they need. Emphasize that your friend can take your advice or leave it.

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Ask identity questions

Identity questions help your friend get in touch with the values that make them the person they are. 

“What is really important to you?"; “What kind of life do you want to lead?”; and, "What kind of person do you want to become?"

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Use the skill of tentativeness

“Tentative” means “not fully worked out, uncertain, or hesitant." 

Instead of assuming an expert stance, offer observations with a “beginner’s mind.” For example, say, “I’m not sure, but perhaps you worry that…”; or, “If you felt comfortable doing it, you could consider trying ….” 

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Empathize

Empathize

Try, “You are in a tough situation"; Sounds like you’re between a rock and a hard place"; or "I’m so sorry you have to face this kind of problem right now.”

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Just be there

Listen. Your very presence can be a comfort to a friend. Sometimes keeping someone company while they go through their trials is a gift in itself.

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Tell a story

Instead of giving direct advice, tell a brief story about what happened to you or someone else that could shed light on your friend’s situation.

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Expand your friend’s perspective

Expand your friend’s perspective

If your friend seems to be afflicted with tunnel vision, help them expand their perspective. You could say, “There could be another way to look at this. What about…?” 

You could also expand perspective by pointing out the consequences of their actions to their future self: “This m...

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CURATED FROM

CURATED BY

alanaff

Travel aficionado Writer. Passionate social media geek. Reader.

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While giving advice it is often the giver of the advice that gets benefited, as the receiver most likely didn’t even listen properly. The ego of the giver is stoked and their desire to be someone of stature and authority is realized.

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Seeking advice

Seeking advice over feedback opens up an opportunity for suggestions to improve or even advice on how to find solutions to your weakness.

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#9 Don't Take Advice

Be confident in your thoughts and emotions - ensuring that you don't live a life of others' opinions.

“You make up your own mind. My advice is to become creatively indifferent to all advice. Hear it, but decide what to do yourself.” ...."Don’t take advice."

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