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Journal about the experiences in your relationship that trigger behaviors you experience as self-sabotaging. Ask yourself: What was happening? What did you feel at the time? What were you afraid of? How likely is it that the outcome you feared would happen?
Having an awareness of what triggers these behaviors can prepare us for the inevitable conflicts that arise.
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If specific themes continue to arise, at some point it could be helpful to speak to your partner.
They can be an asset, as they can help you point out self-sabotaging behaviors as they arise.
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We come out of our family of origin with a blueprint of how we attach to others. The closer someone is to another person, the greater the likelihood that their attachment style can become challenged, and that the strains will bring out their worst qualities, such as jealousy
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Our strong emotional reactions can be our best clues to unfinished business from our past.
The next time you experience a reaction that you suspect may be out of proportion from what you identify as the triggering event, take a moment to pause before responding.
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Cultivating self-compassion is essential for those who struggle with low self-esteem, especially when this manifests in relationships.
Seeking a therapist as a collaborator is a helpful way to begin healing from past hurts, finding self-acceptance, and moving closer to lasting and ful...
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Insecurity in relationships is inevitable because everybody has issues to work on.
It’s critical to know what yours are. With this insight, a person can then stop negative behaviors, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and engage in alternative and more healthy behavior.
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People with height phobias think something bad will happen when they are up high. But you are safer than you think and your feared outcome about heights won't really happen.
Ask yourself:
“Seemingly irrelevant decisions” comes from treatment for addiction: a recovering alcoholic might decide to call an old drinking buddy, just to say hello or for a game of basketball, and soon finds that this minor decision takes them down the slippery slope of resuming alcohol abuse.
Mindfulness practice helps to weaken the link between the craving and the bad behaviour:
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