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10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship

You focus more on what's wrong

... rather than what's right.

You can focus on what a lazy, forgetful, good-for-nothing partner you have or you can see them as a wonderful and loving partner who occasionally overlooks a request when he or she is distracted. 

Choose where to spend your focus.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship

10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/relationship-mistakes_n_5552993

huffpost.com

10

Key Ideas

You focus more on what's wrong

... rather than what's right.

You can focus on what a lazy, forgetful, good-for-nothing partner you have or you can see them as a wonderful and loving partner who occasionally overlooks a request when he or she is distracted. 

Choose where to spend your focus.

You'd rather be right

... than in love. Even though it may seem justified when your partner falls short or makes a mistake, choosing a righteous response will only damage trust and create lingering resentment. 

Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. It builds up appreciation, good will and a desire to do even better to please you next time.

Don't make it about you

  • Acknowledge that your partner has needs that also deserve to be met. Do your best to be the one who can help them meet their needs better than anyone else. 
  • When you take things personally and get your feelings hurt too easily, it closes off communication, makes problem-solving nearly impossible and leaves you both at risk. Look for the common ground instead of the insult.

Creating a safe space

Sometimes, what people really need is just the acceptance that comes with simply hearing them out and not making them wrong. 

The key to remember is that as soon as you judge someone else, you lose all ability to influence them. 

Putting things ahead of your relationship

A relationship needs nurturing, care and ongoing nourishment if you want it to thrive. Too often, we get hypnotized by never-ending demands and the shiny objects of a 24/7 media world.

If you value what you have, institute a regular date night ritual or a bedtime ritual to connect.

Love strategies

You need to learn how to understand, communicate and request that your own needs be met in a way that makes your partner very likely to comply with them.

If you knew exactly how to make your partner feel more loved, understood and appreciated than they've ever felt in their whole life, would you do it? 

Your expectations

Don't expect your partner to think like you. It's important that you give your partner room to have their own opinions and views without trying to change them or manipulate them to your way of thinking. 

An effective partnership is really about voluntarily becoming a team because you recognize that together you are better than the sum of your parts.

The attraction has fizzled out

The solution is two people finding the strength and resolve to recapture what they once had, protect it and nurture it. Build it back to be stronger than ever and to withstand whatever comes in the future.

Losing respect for one another

People who are free and make no apologies for themselves are seen as powerful and compelling. Even when two parties are totally at odds with one another, nothing has the power to reunite them more beautifully than raw vulnerability, when expressed without attack

You over-value certainty

There is only one constant in life. Change is inevitable. You can either grow apart slowly over time or you can honor everyone's journey. 

Find the common ground and do your best to expand it whenever possible. You and your partner don't have to be of one mind on every possible issue. But you can be of one heart if you simply love them for who they are.

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