10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/relationship-mistakes_n_5552993

huffpost.com

10 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Your Relationship
I've assembled a list of non gender-specific ways that couples sabotage their relationships. Hopefully, this list will help create some "a-ha" moments, great conversations and behavioral changes. Here are ten warning signs that couples should be aware of before it's too late: 1) You focus more on what's wrong rather than what's right.

10

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

You focus more on what's wrong

You focus more on what's wrong

... rather than what's right.

You can focus on what a lazy, forgetful, good-for-nothing partner you have or you can see them as a wonderful and loving partner who occasionally overlooks a request when he or she is distracted. 

Choose where to spend your focus.

181 SAVES

388 READS

VIEW

You'd rather be right

... than in love. Even though it may seem justified when your partner falls short or makes a mistake, choosing a righteous response will only damage trust and create lingering resentment. 

Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. It builds up appreciation, good will and a desire to do even better to please you next time.

169 SAVES

311 READS

Don't make it about you

  • Acknowledge that your partner has needs that also deserve to be met. Do your best to be the one who can help them meet their needs better than anyone else. 
  • When you take things personally and get your feelings hurt too easily, it closes off communication, makes problem-solving nearly impossible and leaves you both at risk. Look for the common ground instead of the insult.

175 SAVES

316 READS

Creating a safe space

Creating a safe space

Sometimes, what people really need is just the acceptance that comes with simply hearing them out and not making them wrong. 

The key to remember is that as soon as you judge someone else, you lose all ability to influence them. 

156 SAVES

306 READS

Putting things ahead of your relationship

A relationship needs nurturing, care and ongoing nourishment if you want it to thrive. Too often, we get hypnotized by never-ending demands and the shiny objects of a 24/7 media world.

If you value what you have, institute a regular date night ritual or a bedtime ritual to connect.

196 SAVES

327 READS

Love strategies

You need to learn how to understand, communicate and request that your own needs be met in a way that makes your partner very likely to comply with them.

If you knew exactly how to make your partner feel more loved, understood and appreciated than they've ever felt in their whole life, would you do it? 

172 SAVES

299 READS

Your expectations

Don't expect your partner to think like you. It's important that you give your partner room to have their own opinions and views without trying to change them or manipulate them to your way of thinking. 

An effective partnership is really about voluntarily becoming a team because you recognize that together you are better than the sum of your parts.

163 SAVES

259 READS

The attraction has fizzled out

The attraction has fizzled out

The solution is two people finding the strength and resolve to recapture what they once had, protect it and nurture it. Build it back to be stronger than ever and to withstand whatever comes in the future.

152 SAVES

269 READS

Losing respect for one another

People who are free and make no apologies for themselves are seen as powerful and compelling. Even when two parties are totally at odds with one another, nothing has the power to reunite them more beautifully than raw vulnerability, when expressed without attack

150 SAVES

269 READS

You over-value certainty

There is only one constant in life. Change is inevitable. You can either grow apart slowly over time or you can honor everyone's journey. 

Find the common ground and do your best to expand it whenever possible. You and your partner don't have to be of one mind on every possible issue. But you can be of one heart if you simply love them for who they are.

152 SAVES

320 READS

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Happily Ever After

If you believe in that myth, you’re not going to take the responsibility required to create a great relationship.

You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. It doesn’t j...

Beliefs About Change

People can change if they want to.

Remember that change can be scary, so it's important to be loving and supportive of your partner.

Who's More Prone To Cheat

Not all men are cheaters, and believing so can make you less trusting and more paranoid of your partner.

If you want a solid bond, you have to trust your significant other and communicate if you have concerns about his fidelity.

7 more ideas

Unresolved conflicts

The idea that couples must communicate and resolve all of their problems is a myth. The truth is, trying to resolve a conflict can sometimes create more problems than it fixes.

Being honest

The last person you should ever have to censor yourself with is the person you love.

It’s important to make something more important in your relationship than merely making each other feel good all of the time. The feel-good stuff happens when you get the other stuff right.

Being willing to end it

Romantic sacrifice is idealized in our culture. 

Sometimes the only thing that can make a relationship successful is ending it at the appropriate time, before it becomes too damaging. And the willingness to do that allows us to establish the necessary boundaries to help ourselves and our partner grow together.

Good Relationships Take Work

Good Relationships Take Work

Merging your own ever-shifting life, needs and wants with those of another person takes work if it is to succeed.

How much work it actually takes might ebb and flow, but expect to inve...

Your Partner’s Flaws

Loving your partner's flaws is not always realistic. Some people have habits that are slightly disgusting and impossible to "love." 

Simply accepting them and learning how to shrug them off and minimize their importance is much more realistic.

Going To Bed Angry

The context might be such that you just can’t solve a problem before bed. Be realistic and settle for an agreement to never go to bed without at least deciding when to continue the discussion or argument.

Also, some people actually need to cool down before they can continue a productive discussion, so taking a break could be wise.