MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
Remember certain ‘destructive’ traits that your former partners had and try to make a conscious effort to choose a different type.
We should not only learn from the bad choices that we make but learn from the mistakes of others to avoid making them ourselves. In that way, we can move from being our own worst enemy to being our own best friend.
Many times, we choose a partner whose basic values are totally different than ours. It is critical that what is important to your partner matches what is important to you.
Watch for signs to determine what is important to your significant other. This can prevent the tendency to walk into a bad situation.
When you see yourself as the ‘poor me’ victim, your actions will confirm a negative view of yourself.
Don’t obsess about past mistakes in life. Let go of unrealistic expectations and visions of where you ‘should be’.
This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.
For many people, the fear of rejection and the fear of engulfment keep them out of relationships.
These fears are based on false beliefs, such as success or failure defines my worth as a person.
You avoid anything that leads to a bigger commitment. You're always wondering: "if it goes wrong, how can I extricate myself easily from this relationship?"
Because commitment reduces your ability to leave a relationship without financial or emotional consequences, you tend to avoid it.
If you believe in that myth, you’re not going to take the responsibility required to create a great relationship.
You have to be ready and willing to work for your relationship. It doesn’t just happen; it takes effort and determination.
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