6 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Relationships - Thrive Global
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This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.
Many times, we choose a partner whose basic values are totally different than ours. It is critical that what is important to your partner matches what is important to you.
Watch for signs to determine what is important to your significant other. This can prevent the tendency to walk into a bad situation.
When you see yourself as the ‘poor me’ victim, your actions will confirm a negative view of yourself.
Don’t obsess about past mistakes in life. Let go of unrealistic expectations and visions of where you ‘should be’.
Remember certain ‘destructive’ traits that your former partners had and try to make a conscious effort to choose a different type.
We should not only learn from the bad choices that we make but learn from the mistakes of others to avoid making them ourselves. In that way, we can move from being our own worst enemy to being our own best friend.
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Journal about the experiences in your relationship that trigger behaviors you experience as self-sabotaging. Ask yourself: What was happening? What did you feel at the time? What were you afraid of? How likely is it that the outcome you feared would happen?
Having an awareness of what triggers these behaviors can prepare us for the inevitable conflicts that arise.
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It’s critical to know what yours are. With this insight, a person can then stop negative behaviors, learn to tolerate the discomfort, and engage in alternative and more healthy behavior.
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