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Interdependence Can Build a Lasting and Safe Relationship

Codependency

A codependent person tends to rely heavily on others for their sense of self and well-being. There is an enmeshed sense of responsibility to another person to meet their needs and/or for their partner to meet all of their needs to feel okay about who they are.

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IDEA EXTRACTED FROM:

Interdependence Can Build a Lasting and Safe Relationship

Interdependence Can Build a Lasting and Safe Relationship

https://www.verywellmind.com/how-to-build-a-relationship-based-on-interdependence-4161249

verywellmind.com

6

Key Ideas

Interdependence

Being dependent on another person can be unhealthy. Independence, taken to an extreme, can actually get in the way of us being able to connect emotionally with others in a meaningful way. 

Interdependence suggests that partners recognize and value the importance of the emotional bond they share while maintaining a solid sense of self within the relationship dynamic. 

Why Interdependence Is Healthy

Interdependence involves a balance of self and others within the relationship, recognizing that both partners are working to be present and meet each other's physical and emotional needs in appropriate and meaningful ways.

The Interdependent Relationship

  • Healthy boundaries
  • Active listening
  • Time for personal interests
  • Clear communication
  • Taking personal responsibility for behaviors
  • Creating safety for each other to be vulnerable
  • Engaging and responding to each other
  • Healthy self-esteem
  • Being open and approachable with each other

When partners feel cherished and valued, the relationship becomes a safe haven and a place where the couple can be interdependent.

Build an Interdependent Relationship

  • Know what you like and what matters to you
  • Don't be afraid to ask for what you want
  • Spend time with friends and family
  • Continue pursuing your personal goals
  • Be mindful of your values
  • Make time for hobbies and interests
  • Don't be afraid to say "no"
  • Don't keep yourself small or hidden to please others

Allowing your partner room and opportunity to do these same things will be the key to establishing a healthy, interdependent relationship.

Traits of a codependent relationship

  • Poor/no boundaries
  • People-pleasing behaviors
  • Reactivity
  • Unhealthy, ineffective communication
  • Manipulation
  • Difficulty with emotional intimacy
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Blaming each other
  • Low self-esteem of one or both partners
  • No personal interests or goals outside the relationship

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Codependent vs Interdependent

Codependency in relationships means being overly preoccupied with your partner to the point of losing your own sense of who you are and what you need. 

Partners in an interdependent or s...

Keep Working On Yourself

The key to making your relationship more interdependent is to take stock of your life. Find purpose and meaning outside of your relationship. 

Not only will it make you happier and better as a person, but it may also improve intimacy and passion in your relationship.

Have Regular "Friend Dates"
Counting on your partner to be your person for everything can put a ton of pressure on them. 

It’s healthy to have regular time with your friends without your partner. A little time apart also creates mystique and plays into that tried but true adage that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

5 more ideas

You Have A Boundary Issue If…
  • you feel like people take advantage of you or use your emotions for their own gain.
  • you feel like you’re constantly having to “save” people close to you and fix their problems all the ...
Personal Boundaries

Having healthy personal boundaries means taking responsibility for your own actions and emotions, while NOT blaming others.

People with high self-esteem have strong personal boundaries. And practicing strong personal boundaries is one way to build self-esteem.

Poor Boundaries 

People who blame others for their own emotions and actions do so because they believe that if they constantly paint themselves as a victim, eventually someone will come to save them.

People who take the blame for other people’s emotions and actions are always looking to save someone.

Predictably, these two types of people are drawn strongly to one another, yet completely fail to meet each other's true need to feel loved. The real solution would be for both to take responsibility for their own problems.

2 more ideas

Codependent Couples
  • There may be an imbalance of power or one partner may have taken on responsibility for the other.
  • They’re often anxious and resentful and feel guilty and responsible for their partner...
Interdependent Couples
  • Interdependency requires two people capable of autonomy.
  • They share power equally and take responsibility for their own feelings, actions, and contributions to the relationship. 
  • They can manage their thoughts and feelings on their own and don’t have to control someone else to feel okay. 
  • They can allow for each other’s differences and honor each another’s separateness. 
  • There’s support for each other’s personal goals, but both are committed to the relationship.