If you’re holding a grudge against someone, expecting them to be late to meetings or to miss deadlines, you’ll likely find the evidence you’re looking for. That’s your confirmation bias at play.
When someone annoys you, rather than focusing on what they’re doing wrong, think about how you’re reacting. Be aware of your triggers, writing down what you’re reacting to and why. Once you know what’s triggering you, you can decide if it’s something you can let go of, or if it’s something you need to address with the person in a well-thought-through conversation.
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Look for the good in this person and try to initiate positive conversations with them about topics you can both contribute to, such as project achievements and organizational successes.
Try to differentiate between the person and their behaviors. By focusing on the per...
We can dislike someone without even knowing why, and then look for evidence to make ourselves right. This is known as confirmation or myside bias.
But the most successful and happy people find healthy ways to work with personalities they wouldn’t otherwise choose to ha...
Find what you can appreciate about the person you dislike; nearly everyone has strengths and skills that can be utilized. Maybe they’re really good at lateral thinking or have amazing attention to detail, or perhaps their strength is bringing humor to the room when people nee...
Getting along with difficult people is not the same as justifying or turning a blind eye to what is unacceptable, such as bullying or discrimination. But if they’re simply rubbing you up the wrong way, offering viewpoints that are different to your own, or holding fast to an issu...
At work, we’ve all seen how tense relationships can create conflict and negatively impact performance. Given that 70% of employees say that work friends are crucial to their happiness on the job, learning how to better navigate these tensions is a sound investment of your time.
Perhaps you need to change the way you’re working with the person you dislike, whether by spending more time helping them build a skill, connecting them with others in the organization, or giving them meaningful feedback on their work.
Focus on the things you can do to help...
If someone is rude to you in a meeting, do you assume that they don’t like you, or do you remove yourself from the situation and consider that they could just be having a bad day?
Don’t succumb to childlike behaviors (getting thoughtlessly defensive or ignoring that person out of s...
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Just because you’re doing something doesn’t mean it’s worth doing. You need to figure out what’s important and what’s not.
If you’re going to spend the time learning how to focus, then do it on something that has a high return for the effort involved.
Sandstrom says in her experience, she would describe the stages of having a conversation with a stranger as follows:
First, they look at you as if asking, “Do I know you?” Then there’s recognition they don’t know you.
Then it’s, “Wait, are you a weirdo?”
Usually, the excuse you’re using is masking the real reason why you “can’t” accomplish something. For some, it’s a fear of failure. For others, it’s a self-esteem issue. For others still, it’s a fear of success or having something to lose.
If you’re unsure of where the excuses are coming f...
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