Ruminating vs problem-solving

  • If you are actively solving a problem, such as trying to find ways to increase your chances of success, keep working on solutions.
  • If you're wasting your time ruminating and imagining catastrophic outcomes over and over again, recognize that your way of thinking isn't productive and change it.

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Problem Solving

MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE

Establish what you can control

Recognize that in most situations, all you can control is your effort and your attitude. 

When you put your energy into the things you can control, you'll be much more effective.

You can influence people and circumstances, but you can't force things to go your way:

  • To have the most influence, focus on changing your behavior. Be a good role model and set healthy boundaries for yourself.
  • When you have concerns about someone else's choices, share your opinion, but only share it once. Don't try to fix people who don't want to be fixed.
Identify your fears

Think about what you could do when failure happens.

Usually, the worst-case scenario isn't as tragic as you might envision. Acknowledging that you can handle the worst-case scenario can help you put your energy into more productive exercises.

Stress management

You have to make time to manage your stress so you can operate more efficiently.

Exercising, eating healthy, and getting plenty of sleep are just a few key things you need to do to take care of yourself. Also, eliminate unhealthy coping skills, like drinking too much or complaining to other people.

Develop a few healthy mantras that will keep you mentally strong. Those sayings will help you combat self-doubt, catastrophic predictions, and endless rumination.

Examples: "Make it happen" or "I hope I do OK today."

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RELATED IDEAS

Overthinking can become such a habit that you don't even recognize when you're doing it. Practice paying attention.

When you're overthinking past or future events, acknowledge that your thoughts aren't productive. Thinking is only helpful when it leads to positive action.

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IDEAS

Narcissists are often pathological liars

Narcissists lack empathy, so telling the truth does not matter to them. They may not even realize they are lying most of the time, because they are not aware of it.

Don't make an excuse for somebody that lies to you. You don't have to take the blame.

One good way to take from chemicals that are flooding it is to do something that engages your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that reasons

Focus on problem solving, such as doing a crossword puzzle, bookkeeping, responding to business emails, or other such emotionally neutral activity.

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