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Be Vulnerable
Go past discussing only the weather. Allow yourself to be vulnerable to help lay the ground for a closer personal connection.
MORE IDEAS FROM THE ARTICLE
Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of friends, the closeness of family, and relationships with neighbors and co-workers.
You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.
Don’t be interesting. Be interested.
- Listen to people and ask them to tell you more.
- When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
- Be enthusiastic and encouraging.
Make the time to spend time with your friends so that they will know that you value them.
Research suggests to check in with your friends at least every two weeks.
Denmark has the happiest people in the world. One reason is that 92% of them belong to some kind of social group, ranging from sports to cultural interests.
Starting a group is the easiest way to manage 5 friendships with 20 % of the effort. Ideas could include a weekly lunch, a monthly sewing circle or a movie night.
RELATED IDEAS
- Ignoring context: Crossed arms don’t mean much if the room is cold or the chair they’re sitting in doesn’t have armrests.
- Not looking for clusters: It’s a consistent grouping of actions (sweating, touching the face, and stuttering together) that is really going to tell you something.
- Not getting a baseline: If someone is always jumpy, jumpiness doesn’t tell you anything.
- Not being conscious of biases: If you already like or dislike the person, it’s going to affect your judgment.
Never extend credit to, or accept promises from, a narcissist. As soon as they get what they want, they will be on to the next thing, forgetting whatever they said they would do for you.
Make sure you get what they dangle in front of you before you give them what they want. Narcissists will rarely be offended by people looking out for themselves.
- Consciously notice how you’re feeling and study it as a scientist would.
- Label the feeling. But don't identify with them. It’s a thing you’re experiencing, not what you are.
- Make space for your feelings in your mind. Remember that trying to suppress them will not work.
- Turn your attention to the world around you. This way, the relative importance of your feelings will shrink.