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How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver

Start by doing an activity together

Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.

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How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver

How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/mar/28/how-make-friends-adult-google-autocomplete

theguardian.com

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Key Ideas

Be opportunistic

Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends. 
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffee and get to know them.

Make yourself vulnerable

We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.

If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.

Build a little intimacy

Try to have a heartfelt chat with your new acquaintance to move them into friendship territory. Find experiences that you are comfortable to share or find a common nemesis to discuss and ask insightful questions.

When in doubt, use technology

Use social media to your advantage. Invite someone for coffee when it seems appropriate.

There are also a lot of friendship-making apps available with the express purpose of making friends.

Follow up

After you’ve seen a new friend for the first time, send them a text to say you had a lovely time. Keep some form of communication going so the connection does not run dry.

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Focus on Being Open

Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.  

Be open and inviting.

Make a List

Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.

Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.

Put It On the Calendar

Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.

Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.

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The importance of friends

Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...

Reconnect with old friends

You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.

Connecting to people

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

  • Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
  • When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
  • Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

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Be a regular

The best way to have friends is to interact with the same person regularly.

Look for activities where the same core people show up. Keep showing up yourself. 

Talk about yourself

Share some details of your life more freely so that your conversation partner doesn't have to interrogate you. If you feel uncomfortable talking too much, give yourself permission to stretch and grow.

Be the conversation starter

Most people are secretly scared of getting rejected.  Assume that people like you and act in kind.

Don't wait for them to start a conversation. Say "hello." They might be relieved you took the initiative.