How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver - Deepstash

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How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/mar/28/how-make-friends-adult-google-autocomplete

theguardian.com

How do you make friends as an adult? You asked Google - here's the answer | Kate Leaver
Looking back at your childhood with rose-tinted glasses can trick you into thinking it was easy to make friends as a kid. You shared a biscuit, a puzzle and maybe some germs, and you had a friend for life. But the playground is a harsh environment.

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Be opportunistic

Learn to notice opportunities for potential friends. 
We let many friendship opportunities pass us by because we feel awkward or too shy. Instead of small talk, invite them for coffee and get to know them.

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Make yourself vulnerable

We have to put our fears aside that someone might not like us or may have too many friends already.

If you like someone you meet, ask to swap numbers and follow through with an invitation to socialize.

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Start by doing an activity together

Suggest an activity that you can do together. It will anchor your time together and give you something to focus on or talk about.

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Build a little intimacy

Try to have a heartfelt chat with your new acquaintance to move them into friendship territory. Find experiences that you are comfortable to share or find a common nemesis to discuss and ask insightful questions.

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When in doubt, use technology

Use social media to your advantage. Invite someone for coffee when it seems appropriate.

There are also a lot of friendship-making apps available with the express purpose of making friends.

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Follow up

After you’ve seen a new friend for the first time, send them a text to say you had a lovely time. Keep some form of communication going so the connection does not run dry.

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Focus on Being Open

Don't worry about being rejected, or that you might not be fun enough.  

Be open and inviting.

Make a List

Make a list of people that you would like to get to know better.

Consider extending an invitation and see what happens.

Put It On the Calendar

Decide when you are going to ask someone to do something together.

Schedule these initial contacts to ensure that you won't keep putting it off.

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The importance of friends

Having a weak circle of friends carries the same risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

Researchers suggest that the core factors in a happy life are the number of friends, the closeness of f...

Reconnect with old friends

You have probably met a large number of friends through just a handful of people. Those are your superconnectors. Rekindle those friendships and ask them if there is anyone you should meet.

Connecting to people

Don’t be interesting. Be interested.

  • Listen to people and ask them to tell you more. 
  • When they mention something you have in common, point it out.
  • Be enthusiastic and encouraging.

A Friend Indeed

A Friend Indeed

According to a report in The Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, an acquaintance has a chance of being your friend after about 50 hours of shared activity or discussions. A frien...

Benefits of Friendships

Long-lasting, high-quality friendships lower the chance of chronic illnesses, and mortality rates. They boost one’s happiness and can also be a buffer towards anxiety, stress and even depression.

One can consider looking back and reconnect with a lost but cherished friend for emotional support or to relive the long-forgotten times.

Considering Reviving A Friendship

  • We need to ask ourselves if a certain friendship is even worth resuscitating, or if one of us has moved on to such an extent that we really don’t recognize the person any more.
  • The circumstances of growing apart also matter. If it was betrayal or a falling out, the process of getting back may require reconciliation and may not be easy.
  • People evolve due to the various life events that happen in the course of their lives, like medical issues, marriage, children or a divorce. It’s important to keep one’s guard up, as the person that one gets to meet after years might be a complete stranger in some ways.