The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others
“The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.”
This is a professional note extracted from an online article.
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It allows them to drive our behavior.
Sometimes it’s about something genetic/physical (wishing to be taller for example), but more often it’s about something the other person is capable of doing that we wish we could do as well. Sometimes this comparison is motivating and sometimes it’s destructive.
... but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones.
It’s like being right-handed and trying to play an instrument with your left hand.
Not only are we unhappy but the other people are as well. They are probably comparing themselves to you.
At worst, when we compare ourselves to others we end up focusing our energy on bringing them down instead of raising ourselves up.
Life becomes about being a better version of yourself. And your effort and energy go toward upgrading your personal operating system every day, not worrying about what your coworkers are doing, for example.
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Individuals have always had the tendency to compare themselves to others. However, this can only have negative effects on our life: it deprives you of joy, it makes you lose precious time that ...
While comparing yourself to others can cause serious harm to your life, there are some tips you can use in order to avoid this behaviour.
Among these tips, some of the most interesting refer to how to become aware of the negative effects this comparison has on your life, practise gratitude, learn to admire and learn from others or focus on yourself- so you can become a better version of yourself.
A social comparison happens when we are measuring ourselves by the success or the failures of others. We all use social comparisons to motivate ourselves.
If you find the external upward social comparisons de-motivating, it is a good idea to shift your focus inwards, and compare your past with your present, while keep pushing yourself every week, month and year. Having a written record of your performance creates a tangible comparison chart to work with.
Downward comparisons help us find motivation when we are feeling low, as it gives perspective. They also provide us with an urge to help others in need, igniting our energies to mentor and support those in need.
Time is the most precious resource. Death gives a sense of urgency, as any moment could be your last. It humbles you and should also deeply motivate you to not spend your time thoughtlessly.
Outside forces don’t make us feel things, our perceptions of them do. It’s easy to think otherwise, but doing so harms us and undermines our self-discipline.
The next time you run into an obstacle and feel resistance, don’t look at what’s around you. Instead, look within.
Whatever you do, there are individuals that you can learn from. If you can’t talk to them, you can study their story, works, techniques, successes, and failures, and discover patterns of success you can apply to your life.
Be careful not to turn it into an exercise of comparison and expect your progress to be the same as theirs. Their teachings and principles are supposed to help you grow, learn, and create.
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