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The Danger of Comparing Yourself to Others
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“The big question about how people behave is whether they’ve got an inner scorecard or an outer scorecard. It helps if you can be satisfied with an inner scorecard.”
Warren Buffett
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Comparing ourselves to others
It allows them to drive our behavior.
Sometimes it’s about something genetic/physical (wishing to be taller for example), but more often it’s about something the other person is capab...
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You can be anything
... but you can’t be everything. When we compare ourselves to others, we’re often comparing their best features against our average ones.
It’s like being rig...
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Recipe for unhappiness
Not only are we unhappy but the other people are as well. They are probably comparing themselves to you.
At worst, when we compare ourselves to others we end up focusing our energy on ...
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The only game you'll win
Life becomes about being a better version of yourself. And your effort ...
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The shortcomings of always comparing yourself to others
Individuals have always had the tendency to compare themselves to others. However, this can only have negative effects on our life: it deprives you of joy, it makes you lose precious time that could have been better used otherwise, it results in frustration and hate towards the one you are comparing yourself with and even towards yourself.
Tips to overcome the need to compare yourself to others
While comparing yourself to others can cause serious harm to your life, there are some tips you can use in order to avoid this behaviour.
Among these tips, some of the most interesting refer to how to become aware of the negative effects this comparison has on your life, practise gratitude, learn to admire and learn from others or focus on yourself- so you can become a better version of yourself.
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Social Comparisons
A social comparison happens when we are measuring ourselves by the success or the failures of others. We all use social comparisons to motivate ourselves.
- Upward comparisons make us dissatisfied, as we line up ourselves with someone better than us.
- Downward comparisons make us feel better about our status, and sometimes feel pity for the other.
Compete With Yourself
If you find the external upward social comparisons de-motivating, it is a good idea to shift your focus inwards, and compare your past with your present, while keep pushing yourself every week, month and year. Having a written record of your performance creates a tangible comparison chart to work with.
Downward comparisons help us find motivation when we are feeling low, as it gives perspective. They also provide us with an urge to help others in need, igniting our energies to mentor and support those in need.
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Time Is The Most Precious Resource
Time is the most precious resource. Death gives a sense of urgency, as any moment could be your last. It humbles you and should also deeply motivate you to not spend your time thoughtlessly.
Every moment is an opportunity to improve, and to appreciate your capabilities and responsibility to do so.
Emotions Come From Within
Outside forces don’t make us feel things, our perceptions of them do. It’s easy to think otherwise, but doing so harms us and undermines our self-discipline.
The next time you run into an obstacle and feel resistance, don’t look at what’s around you. Instead, look within.
The People You Respect
Whatever you do, there are individuals that you can learn from. If you can’t talk to them, you can study their story, works, techniques, successes, and failures, and discover patterns of success you can apply to your life.
Be careful not to turn it into an exercise of comparison and expect your progress to be the same as theirs. Their teachings and principles are supposed to help you grow, learn, and create.