The key is going from closed to open questions. Classic closed questions can be answered with a “yes” or “no,” and the easiest answer is “no.” Instead of asking for a promotion. You can ask: "What’s the promotion process going to look like this year?” Or, “What do you need from me to make the case for my promotion?” Then listen to the answer.
When you ask someone that question, very often you’re going to get powerful information that’s going to tell you what matters most to them, so that you’re going to be able to figure out a way that meets their needs, while also meeting yours.
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Similar ideas to Asking Open-Ended Questions
Avoid questions you can answer “yes” or “no”. They are closed-ended, don’t generate discussion and they rarely yield any insight.
By asking open-ended questions, you get far more interesting insights. They invite reflection and start discussions.
Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how.
For example, instead of asking "Were you terrified?", which will produce a "yes" or "no" answer, try asking, "How did that feel?" They might have to think about it, but you'll get a much better response.
Those that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer, are the best type of questions to ask if you’re looking to establish common ground.
Just be careful not to overdo your questioning. You don’t want the other person to feel like they’re being interrogated.
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