We often think that love involves a merger of two lives. We expect a loving couple must think the same, eat the same, have the same ideas, have only common friends. If it is not right in every way, we believe we need to reform the relationship. However, we need just three essential things from one another:<ul><li>Kindness: a partner who good-humouredly tolerates our imperfections.</li><li>Shared vulnerability: someone with whom we can be weak, vulnerable, and honest.</li><li>Understanding: someone who is interested in and can make sense of our minds and how we view the world.</li></ul>

Two perspectives of a relationship

If we have kindness, shared vulnerability, and understanding, we will feel satisfied and loved. When differences appear in other areas, we will be content. If we agree on every other area but lack these three ingredients, we will feel lonely and empty.

Three elements of a relationship

Many couples will privately admit that they are frustrated and disappointed with the person they've chosen to share their lives with. They may admit that their partner is too loyal to their annoying family, doesn't share their views, don't want to go on camping holidays,  and the list goes on. But they still love their partner and want to be happy together. What is driving the frustration is that they have preconceived ideas of how a relationship is supposed to be.

Frustration in a relationship

It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2TMs0dT For books and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2Xyn8Kj Our website has classes, articles and products to help you lead a more fulfilled life: https://bit.ly/39Hq7Wz Join this channel to get access to exclusive members perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog/join FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C “Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with. If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain:..” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Gemma Green-Hope http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

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It can be hard to know what we really need from a relationship. But the task becomes much simpler if we keep in mind that every relationship requires just three crucial ingredients to work.
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FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2XCj63C

“Many people, after they’ve been in a couple for some time, will privately admit that they are – in many ways – frustrated and disappointed by the person they’ve chosen to share their lives with.  If pressed for details, they will have no difficulty coming up with a list: their partner, they might complain:..”


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships


SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/  
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife   
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ 


CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Gemma Green-Hope
http://www.gemmagreenhope.com/
 
Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions
https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

We have thousands of articles about emotional life for you on our website: www.theschooloflife.com

We offer online psychotherapy: www.theschooloflife.com/therapy

We publish one film a week, on Wednesdays at 14.00hrs GMT.

Three elements of a relationship

Two perspectives of a relationship

Frustration in a relationship

The Three Requirements of a Good Relationship

Other curated ideas on this topic:

Three ingredients of self-compassion

Essential Things To Look For In a Partner

Signs of a codependent relationship