Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
“You are not your idea, and if you identify too closely with your ideas, you will take offense when they are challenged.”
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Mastering the art of considerate disagreement means expressing your beliefs without shutting down the discussion or angering the other side.
For this to happen, you have to listen more, be willing to change your perspective on disagreement and learn to better your arguments.
Disagreements can create an “us versus them” mentality with clear winners and losers.
A better approach is to ditch the entire notion of winners and losers. Instead, you’re both on the same team working toward a better solution.
We tend to focus on what we're going to say next in conversation and we fail to understand the counterargument and really listen to the other party.
Demonstrate that you're listening by reframing their position in your words and then ask for confirmation that you have it right.
It is essential for success. It’s the hallmark of an engaged and involved team member. And it opens the way for testing and improving new ideas.
It should also be treated as a chance to built trust and show mutual understanding.
Take the time to gather facts that support the opposite point of view.
Ask yourself, “What if I’m wrong?”. This will strengthen your argument by anticipating questions, or you’re going to learn something new and take a more nuanced position.
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The decision making process that Dalio, Buffett and Munger use is:
People tend to disagree when they don't understand each other. That does not mean you have to agree, just that you're open to hearing them out.
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Our natural bias is to start by imagining all the things that will go horribly wrong if we disagree with someone more powerful. Yes, your counterpart might be a little upset at first, but most likely you are not going to get fired or make a lifelong enemy.
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