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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Avoid arguments.
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions. 
  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
  • To win someone to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
  • Let the other people talk themselves out and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. 
  • Dramatize your ideas. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.

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How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

https://www.dansilvestre.com/how-to-win-friends-and-influence-people/

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Key Ideas

Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices and motivated by pride and vanity.”

Handling People

  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Appreciation and flattery

  • Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
  • Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.

Henry Ford

Henry Ford

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

Make People Like You

  • Become interested in other people. We are interested in others when they are interested in us.
  • Smile. A smile says, "I like you."
  • Always remember people's names.
  • Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
  • Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
  • Make the other person feel important, in an honest way.

Memorize names

  • If you don’t hear the name distinctly, ask the person to repeat it
  • For unusual names, ask for the spelling
  • Repeat the name several times during the conversation
  • Associate the name with the person’s features, expression, and general appearance
  • Write it down later so you can visualize the name as well

Win People to Your Way of Thinking

  • Avoid arguments.
  • Show respect for the other person’s opinions. 
  • If you are wrong, admit it quickly.
  • To win someone to your cause, first convince him that you are his sincere friend.
  • Let the other people talk themselves out and try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers. 
  • Dramatize your ideas. The truth has to be made vivid, interesting, dramatic.

EXPLORE MORE AROUND THESE TOPICS:

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Techniques in Handling People
  • Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
  • Give honest and sincere appreciation.
  • Arouse in the other person an eager want.
  • 6 ways to make people like you
    1. Become sincerely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
    6. Make the other person feel important.
    Win people to your way of thinking
    • The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
    • Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
    • If you are wrong, admit it.
    • Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
    • Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
    • Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
    • Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
    • Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
    • Appeal to the nobler motives.
    • Dramatize your ideas.
    • Throw down a challenge.

    4 more ideas

    Dale Carnegie’s advice to make people like you
    1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
    2. Smile.
    3. Remember names. 
    4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
    5. Talk in terms of the ot...
    Actively showing interest in other people

    When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructiveengaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.

    It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.

    Smiling does make you more attractive
    And by smiling we influence others to smile. People judge things more positively while smiling, so our own smile can set off a chain reaction causing more positive encounters.

    4 more ideas

    Listening requires mental work
    We mistake listening as easy because it looks passive and instinctive, but in reality it’s hard work. Really listening (and not just appearing to listen) re...
    Mistakes we make in conversations
    Our general tendency is to:
    • Evaluate: We judge what someone is saying and agree or disagree.
    • Probe: We ask questions from our own frame of reference.
    • Advise: We give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.
    • Interpret: We analyze others' motives and behaviors based on our own experiences.
    What makes a great listener
    • Asking great questions;
    • Playing attention to the nonverbal communication;
    • Forgoing taking detailed notes to pay better attention;
    • Listening with the intent to understand, not the intent to respond;
    • Making people feel heard;
    • Following up on what matters.