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The Only Thing We Control Is Our Reaction
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Key Ideas
External events don't harm us
Even if this sounds counterintuitive, only our responses to them can have this effect.
These events only have the power that we choose to give them. They only destroy us because we think they are destructive, and allow them to run our lives.
Maintaining control over our lives
The occurrence of a bad event does not necessarily have to result in sadness.
If we take away the power of external events and reclaim our internal power to decide, gage, and assign value, we maintain control of our lives.
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We're not immune to loss
We are going to experience negative emotions in life (anger, sadness, heartbreak, etc.)
And recognizing that our mindset is not at the mercy of external events, but rather something that is under our own control can go a long way in fostering a healthier, happier outlook.
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Key Ideas
Suppressing Emotions
We usually adopt cold and technical solutions to the problems being faced by the world, with little regard to 'unstable' feelings like passion and emotion. As a species, we have always s...
Emotionally Healthy
Emotions can help us handle complex issues, and are an essential part of rational thinking; they are helping us envision future scenarios and this is called pragmatic prospection.
An 'emotionally healthy' mindset can be developed by the self-transcendent emotions like empathy, gratitude and wonder, which are focused on others.
Emotional Rescue
The world's problems like global warming, air and plastic pollution, and terrorism cannot be solved without empathy. A lack of empathy makes us focus on short-term goals, and our greed, ignoring the larger, more difficult problems that need to be tackled.
Even if someone does have empathy, it is limited to one's inner circle, and not towards humanity in general. Our empathy needs to be towards the entire planet and its inhabitants. The current age should harness humanity's emotional side if our future generations want to remember us as 'good' ancestors.
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Key Ideas
Diffuse the fear of being rejected
... by acknowledging and expecting it can and will hurt.
To overcome the sting of rejection, stop trying to avoid feeling that stings. Stop pretending your unaffect...
Interrupting rumination
Make a contract with your partner, family, and friends allowing them to catch you in the throes of verbal diarrhea when you were unfairly treated.
Work out three or four different activities that will distract you and turn your attention to something productive.
Regulate the number of rejection opportunities
... you expose yourself to.
We all have a different threshold of the amount of rejection we can handle. Wisely considering how much more you can handle is essential.
Before you take another step forward, ask yourself if you have the right resources and support in place to catch you.
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Key Ideas
A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood
In the movie, A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, the children's TV host Mister Rogers was on a mission to teach children that they mattered, that they could manage their difficult emotions and th...
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind
Social connection makes hope possible. This is the message in the film based on the life of 13-year-old William Kamkwamba. The story plays off in Malawi during a famine caused by a series of natural disasters.
William's family cannot afford for him to continue with school, and William is forbidden to return. But William sneaks back into school and gets permission to continue using the school's library. He develops strong ties with his science teacher, librarian, family, friends, and fellow villagers.
He ultimately discovers how wind energy can bring water to his village and save them from perishing.
The Farewell
The Farewell is about a first-generation Chinese immigrant, Billi. She wants to visit her dying grandmother, Nai-Nai, in China, to say goodbye.
Nai-Nai is unaware of the seriousness of her illness while the family believes it is kinder to keep her illness a secret and make her happy. Conflict ensues as Billi wants to tell Nai-Nai the truth. This is a tale of how people express love differently and the quiet wisdom and positive outlook of Nai-Nai.
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