Even if this sounds counterintuitive, only our responses to them can have this effect.
These events only have the power that we choose to give them. They only destroy us because we think they are destructive, and allow them to run our lives.
The occurrence of a bad event does not necessarily have to result in sadness.
If we take away the power of external events and reclaim our internal power to decide, gage, and assign value, we maintain control of our lives.
We are going to experience negative emotions in life (anger, sadness, heartbreak, etc.)
And recognizing that our mindset is not at the mercy of external events, but rather something that is under our own control can go a long way in fostering a healthier, happier outlook.
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Our relationship with ourself is as important as the relationships we build with other people.
Our work, our hobbies and interests, our creative projects, our day-to-day experiences can be a source of both love and meaning.
The greatest sense of fulfilment is from being stretched in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.
Stress can impact our motivation. To cope with stressors involve planning, execution, and feedback.
- During planning, we analyze if a life-changing event is positive, negative, or irrelevant to our well-being. If it is a negative event, we find resources to manage the event.
- During execution, we determine how to cope with the stressor. When the stressor is low, reappraisal is a good strategy, but when the stress is very high, distraction is more effective.
- During feedback, we can use it to reappraise the stressor or to change coping and emotion regulation strategies.
While it is normal to wonder, “What did I do wrong?” giving in to negative thoughts can sabotage our efforts at mending our broken hearts.
If two different people, other than our close family, make the same point post-relationship but we still have a difficult time accepting it, we need to consider that they are most likely telling the truth.