Third-person thinking, or talking to yourself about the problem as an outsider, or as a witness, can temporarily improve decision making, according to numerous studies.
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We are generally advised to do self-reflection and examine our lives, but we may not be doing it right.
Rumination, the process of recurrent worrying or brooding, is the default process of the brain but can lead to impaired decision making and even depression.
Talking to yourself in the third person brings clarity, insight and greater emotional regulation about the current situation or problem.
The detachment that being in the third-person offers, removes the inherent emotional bias that one has, but is unaware of.
Studies have found that just having negative feelings isn’t enough to lead to depressive symptoms. You also have to be unable to put a name to your feeling state, and then dwell on trying to identify it, to be at risk of depression.
It’s important, without ruminating, to try to identify negative emotions so you can move on, relying on methods proven to be successful against that particular emotion. Some people may just have a tendency to experience emotions intensely, but this factor is an independent contributor to feelings of depression.
If we 'marry' the two kinds of decision making, the process of rational analysis, where we objectively understand the other person, with the feeling of love, then we can ask ourselves the right questions, and go towards something that can last.